I've decided that I hate you. I hate you more now than I've ever loved you. You still want to play the victim, don't you? this is all my fault, isn't it? I drove you to her arms, didn't I? You didn't do anything wrong, right? It's not what it seems, is it? I've got the wrong idea, don't I? you want to explain, right? Too fúcking bad for all of it, because I hate you. Ten things I wish I said to you last night.
I want the "old" you I want the you that use to sing me to sleep I want the you that used to hold me when I cried I want the you that told me he loved me everyday I want the you that kissed me to say good morning I want the you that held me during scary movies I want the you that told me I was beautiful I want the you that didn't hide everything from me I want the you that dropped anything to be with me I want the you that use to look at me and smile I want the you that held me every night I want the you that remembered the little things I want the you that loved me "unconditionally" I want the you that liked my craziness I want the you that laughed with me I want the you that I first met I want the you that I feel in love with
I want to have nice hair I want to have pretty eyes I want to have fuller lips I want to have clear skin I want to have longer legs I want perfectly white and straight teeth I want to have a smaller nose I want to have an hourglass figure I want to be taller I want to be funnier I want to be smarter I want to be pretty I want to be sexy I just want to be b e a u t I f u l so that you will love me like I love you
The way you clutch me close within your grip and rest your head atop mine. The way you trap me and make sure I won't leave by throwing your leg over my body pulling me in firmly. The way I get up earlier than you and try to quietly crawl out of bed not to wake you, yet you still wake and I find myself being pulled by you right back into bed, into your tight clutch once again. The way you wake up and look at how I'm fully dressed, and still you open your arms wide beckoning for me to come lay with you.
When you've given up When no matter what you do its never good enough when you never thought it could ever get this tough thats when you feel my kind of love when you're crying out when you've fallen and can't pick your happy off the ground when the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around thats when you feel my kind of love
It's like you've been holding the gun, taunting me, pointing at me, knowing that I am defenseless. But tonight, you actually pulled the trigger, and shot me in the chest. All that's left of me is the bitter taste of fear inside my lungs screaming to let go. Now I've let go.