Witty Profiles

JodieexD

1. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   November 13, 2013 2:46pm UTC
   People I insult:
   99% = Best friends
   1% = People I hate
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
2. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   September 8, 2013 6:03pm UTC
   "Guys be quiet I'm calling my mum!"
   ... Person in the background:
   "PASS THE WEED!"
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
3. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   September 5, 2013 5:32pm UTC
   Is it just me who has a mini panic attack
   when a fly gets in my face?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
4. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   September 5, 2013 5:15pm UTC
   20 years from now
   "Mum how did you meet dad?"
   "Well he liked my Facebook photo and that's when
   I knew he was the one."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
5. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   August 21, 2013 9:06pm UTC
   That moment when you fall in
   love with a piece of clothing
   but then you see the price...
   "Nevermind, I'll find something else like yoooooou."
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 26 points
6. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   August 20, 2013 2:07pm UTC
   What if your pillow could
   collect your dreams and
   when you wake up you
   could plug it into your
   computer and what them
   over again?
   That would be cool if you ask me.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
7. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   August 20, 2013 1:34pm UTC
   PRINGLES: The only
   chip company in the world
   that doesn't sell air.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
8. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   August 19, 2013 6:26pm UTC
   Those crazy 5 seconds,
   when you stand up too fast, and you either go
   blind or extremely dizzy.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 104 points
9. JodieexD
   posted a quote
   June 21, 2013 2:17pm UTC
   That face you do when a friend makes you
   laugh in class and you try
   to hold it in.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
10. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 2:14pm UTC
    Yelling someone's name
    in different voices until
    they hear you.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
11. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 4:29pm UTC
    I swear medicine companies have absolutely no clue what fruit tastes like.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points
12. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 4:26pm UTC
    Dear Mom,
    How can you hear me mumble under my breath but you can't hear me say "WHAT?!" multiple times when you scream my name?
    Sincerely, your confused child.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
13. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    June 2, 2013 5:20pm UTC
    Admit it, 99.9% of the time you say 'LOL' you have less expression on your face than a brick wall..
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
14. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    June 2, 2013 5:17pm UTC
    Lets just get this clear when someone says they're going to share food with me:
    There is NO "we"
    In "MY FOOD"
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
15. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2013 7:48am UTC
    I was at my aunties house yesterday and my cousin who's seven, came up to me and this was our conversation:
    Vikki: Hi!
    Me: Hey
    Vikki: I am the Happiness Fairy
    * sprinkles some glitter on me *
    Me: What the hell was that for?
    Vikki: I've sprinkled some Happy Dust on you
    Me: Uh... Okay?
    She crosses her arms and stares and me and then yells
    "SO SMILE DAMMIT! THIS SH*T IS EXPENSIVE!"
    Me: OKAY, OKAY.. I'M SORRY!
    * runs away D: *
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
16. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2013 7:38am UTC
    Me: Mom, i got all A's
    Mom:
    Me: Mom I cleaned the whole house
    Mom:
    Me: Mom I don't do drugs or smoke
    Mom:
    Mom: Is this your cup on the table?
    Me: Yes
    Mom: You never do anything right I do everything for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out, you're so out of control, you're grounded! If you think you had no life before you just wait, I can't believe you treat your own mother this way, get out of my sight.
    Just me?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 9 points
17. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2013 9:39am UTC
    When someone decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and stare at it.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
18. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2013 9:35am UTC
    A section of my fish tank broke yesterday, causing a corner of my house to be lit up by rainbow colours. My cat Bailey decided to sit in that corner and become...
    RAINBOW CAT.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
19. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2013 9:31am UTC
    Deleting one "ha" from your "hahahaha" because you think it's too much.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
20. JodieexD
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2013 5:03pm UTC
    I hate math...
    But I love counting my own money.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

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