TELETUBBIES
Baby gorillas, whom, because of their small and morbidly obese build,
became perfect subjects for a top secret experiment dubbed, "teletubbies".
Kidnapped from their native habitat, they were strapped down hooting and
screaming onto operation tables. Their stomachs were removed and replaced
with a crude malfunctioning television set, which received its signals from a
implanted antenna on the top of its head. Because the antenna's receiver must
be outside of the body, a hole is drilled through the baby gorilla's brain, making
a pathway to stick the electrical equipment through. Unfortunately, this only
resulted in having the entire cast of teletubbies having the combined intelligence of tupperware.
To feed the disillusioned apes, a special diet consisting of purified ethanol (tubby toast),
and lead paint oatmeal (tubby custard) to keep the seditious thoughts of the infants surpressed.
A fake sun watches over them with an ensuringly peaceful baby's face on it to keep the tubbies
close to their safety dome. When a tubby escapes, the sun makes a blood-curdling cry, calling
upon the dome janitor, a robot vacuum cleaner named "snoo snoo" to hunt down and kill the
escapee by devouring it with its mighty vacuum, grinding the hapless tubby and using it's
remains as fertilizer for the vast lush gardens surrounding the dome.
Occasionally when the time is just right, the tubbies may be able to receive radio waves with
their broken antennas, allowing them to eavesdrop on their human overseers, yet baffled by
the simplest tasks we can do, such as showering or cooking an egg.
- urbandictionary.com
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