Skinny friend: I wish I was skinny.
Smart friend: Oh my God, I only got a B+!
Athletic friend: I wish I could run.
Friend in a relationship: God, I HATE my boyfriend.
Popular friend: People always want to hang out with me.
Me: *Sitting here in the corner being a stupid, lazy, overweight, friendless loser.*
Me: Excuse me, while I jump off a cliff.