“Don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are.”
While my whole body is being targeted by the small-minded individuals of my generation, I’m lying in bed trying to count the ways in which I can become thinner, prettier, and comfortable in my own skin.
I didn’t choose to grow up as a target for names such as “fata**,” or “pizza face,” I didn’t fill out a form for expressing those words as choices of mine for people to describe me with. I didn’t ask for an obesity problem, I didn’t choose to have acne covering my face, and I most certainly did not choose for my hair to be so stubborn as to where it doesn’t do what it should after hours of trying. I didn’t choose what imperfections I was handed in my life, I just try to deal with them. I’m fighting a battle with everyone I see in my life, because I know that their eyes size me up, and with all the pointing and snide remarks inside my head, I can’t help but think that their thoughts have to be revolving around “she’s not good enough,” or “if I were her, I wouldn’t want to be seen in public.” Yes, as dramatic as those may be, those are the thoughts I have that people think of me. I’m scared to death of presenting in my classes, because of the constant snickers that follow me around in the halls. It’s starting to affect my life everywhere I go. I can’t make eye contact as often as I could before, I can’t speak to guys without feeling like I’m being a burden to them, and I don’t attend things where I’ll be required to dress more formally, because I know that people will be poking fun at how I look. I suffer on a daily basis because of a few dots on my skin, extra pounds on my body, and hair strands that don’t want to cooperate.
I’M TIRED OF IT. I’m tired of my life being ruined for things I can’t control, all because I don’t fit everyone’s definition of perfect. For those of you who are making fun of me constantly, who even gave you the permission to decide who is beautiful and who isn’t? I can guarantee you that you have imperfections too, and you wouldn’t want to be constantly reminded of them, would you? I don’t even understand what you’re gaining while you’re pointing and laughing at me. Honestly, does it make you feel better about your own pathetic self? You’re making me hate myself a little more each day, and I’m not going to tolerate it any longer. I’m done taking all of the negative comments to bed with me at night. I’m done dealing with ignorant opinions belonging to people who aspire to tear people like me down. I’m done thinking of myself as an ugly human being.
I’m Shannon, a girl who has absolutely everything going for her. I’m driven, easy to get along with, and I have a great sense of humor. I’m a successful student, I treat people with kindness, and I respect my parents. I’m competitive, honest, and responsible. I’m forgiving, compassionate, and loving. I’m a girl who would give you the clothes off my back, and expect nothing in return. I’m a girl who is learning to be happy with herself, despite everyone who is attempting to tear me down. I’m Shannon, and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.
“Don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are.”
FluffyScamp