ChristineCaroluz*

Status: Mommy to my baby Austin.

Member Since: 16 Oct 2016 09:01pm

Last Seen: 26 May 2023 11:10pm

Location: Pennslyvania

user id: 397774

70 Quotes
36 Favorites
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10 Followers
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Hello, I am Christine.
23 years old.

Mommy to one baby boy
and one angry cat.

I like arts and crafts, playing the Sims 4 and
going out for walks.

I enjoy all kinds of music. I listen to singers like
Billie Eilish, Ronnie Radke and others.

I really like watching my favorite youtubers.
Which are lilsimsie, vixella, Jamesturneryt, cinnamontoastken, Rolywestyt,
Luxeria and theWelshtwins.

ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
October 4, 2017 8:59pm UTC

You lost this match.
-Poem by Christine Vega
Feeling lost and broken
All the words left unspoken
I'm broken and bruised
I'm an old toy; I am used.
I don't want to affect you.
I don't need to take the blame.
But when pain comes like the flu.
And you're stuck feeling blue.
Don't come back to me; you're unwanted.
You're not forgiven, and when your bleeding
I'll turn away.
But now nobody is falling for your games.
You are a fool. I'm no longer tool.
I see how you are; Where the darkness lies.
Deep within, inches under the skin
Pathetic sneaks in. Weakness stands and shouts.
When your on the ground you'll ask me where am I now
But I'm not coming back, that is a fact!
I see right through your dumb little acts!!
Press X - Y - Z
Leave it to me, get through round 3
I never meant to you what you meant me,
But that's okay cause I now see through the screen!
You lost this match, I won't take it all back
Take yourself home, where you are alone.
You betrayed the only person who cared about you.
Now nobody is left, one day you'll know the feeling of
being broken and bruised.
Lost and confused, with nothing to do.
I'd wish the best to you, but the best thing you had was me.
And I no longer want you!

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
September 17, 2017 7:17pm UTC

i feel broken inside and i dont know what to do
i feel like any minute id lose my mind like i lost you
i can't let go of this pain
i cant let go of this urge to break down this time
being strong is really hard to do
i dont know how much more i can possibly take
how many more smiles i could possibly fake
how many more miles these scarred up legs can make

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
September 4, 2017 12:52am UTC

I cover up the scars and bruises so you don't see and become afraid of seeing the darkness within me.

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 29, 2017 12:28am UTC

"Eyes"
Original poem by Christine Vega
Yes, on the outside I'm smiling and laughing.
But if you stare deeper into my eyes,
You'll see right through my little lies.
On the inside I'm dying and cracking.
Bruising, burning, and bleeding.
Searching, confused and
I don't know what to do.
Look into my eyes and you will see the truth.

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 27, 2017 4:37pm UTC

LYRICS of "Sorry that I loved you" by Anthony Neely
I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
So sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
Sorry that I hold you tight
And I'm So sorry for...
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when I fled the scene
Sorry love, for wasting your time

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 24, 2017 8:46pm UTC

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 22, 2017 6:29pm UTC

Sound, Strength and Power.
-Christine Vega
To all the screams I left in silence.
To the bright thoughts I left behind in darkness.
To all the people who trust me, listen to these lies;
I am having fun, I'm also feeling fine.
I'll count to thirty, while you go run and hide.
While I go searching, a "real" smile you will find.
To the very few I trust, listen to the truth.
I need something more than ever,
and that something is you.
You lean on me and I lean on you.
This is the best of all, when we are feeling blue.
So the quiet in my words outloud shall never be so true.
But the yelling in my written letters will always be nonfiction.
To all the ones whose pain I bathe in.
You should know the poison you're afflicting.
I may be your burden. I may be your gentle star.
But no matter where in this world you are,
you'll always make an impact.
Whether that's good or bad, we cannot control that.
Whether we are happy or sad, can we control that?
Whether they feel angry or scared, we cannot that.
In this world we may feel powerless.
But when you're in the darkness,
with those you don't trust,
and you're not feeling safe enough,
but have the strength to stand with honesty and courage;
That's when we are all truly powerful.

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 22, 2017 6:10pm UTC

Whether you think
you CAN or you
CANT, you are
right!

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 20, 2017 3:44pm UTC

I never thought I'd be in this situation
Knowing what I want
But unsure how to get it done

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 17, 2017 7:31pm UTC

You
original poem by Christine Vega
(aka Memorium & Chrissys)
I miss the smile and voice I used to get lost in.
I miss the girl that I've never had.
A daydream is all you'll ever be?
An imaginary memory; yes, it is a tragedy.
But you can't clearly see, how much you really mean to me!
Babygirl, you can't hear the tears I bleed!
Princess, I'll be your subject. Life will never be a World war 3.
Baby, I'd do my best and better than that and
Yes, I'm not a man. But I'll do better than he ever can!
Give you love, give you hope, give you inspiration and faith.
Don't need to rush but please don't leave me here to waist away.
Wish you'd come by, I wish you could stay.
Trust me, Love me, Hold me, Break me, Bleed me, Want me.
Scream me, Hurt me, Fix me, Take me, Need me.
I'll hold you, Love you, Bleed you, Scream you, Take you, Praise you!
Need you, Want you, hold you as long as you please.
When will you steal me so I can be your one and only.
Love this holy should be on a throne.
You are the one. That I needed most. You truly don't know;
That you are a queen. Believe me.

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
August 12, 2017 6:33pm UTC

My friend,
-Christine Vega
As I thought. Once again you've stopped by.
My long life friend, that is what you are.
Depression is your first name and Anxiety is your last.
No matter how hard I try to ignore you, the more you bring up the past.
Thought it would be easy to hold up my shield.
But once again you slip on through my fingers...

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
July 15, 2017 6:12pm UTC

Mother's Day
Poem by; Christine Vega
Today is a day that I hate.
Today is a day of sorrow and regret
Who knew that this would be your fate?
And who knew pain is all that I would get?
Your father wanted you, and I wanted you more.
Been a long time since you've been gone,
and I wish you were here.
I'm a mommy that makes angels.
That's what everybody always tells me.
Who would you have been?
A mama's boy or a tough guy like your dad?
Every single mother's day I remember you.
Now you'd be in your terrible twos.
Driving mommy and daddy crazy!
But it would be okay,
I'd love you just like I do now.

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
July 15, 2017 5:57pm UTC

Somethings are better left unsaid.
But sometimes those things that aren't said,
are the things that they needed to hear the most!

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
July 15, 2017 5:54pm UTC

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
June 4, 2017 5:18pm UTC

Confess the feelings you probably don't have
-Poem by Christine Vega
One day I'd wish to meet you by the cherry tree
and hear you say that you love me
Confess your feelings
Feelings you probably don't have
But this is my fantasy
"Please senpai notice me"
Confess the feelings you probably don't have
I need you in my life and I want you as my wife
I wouldn't let you get hurt cos' babygirl I'll protect you
I'd get under that knife, jump infront of a train for you
I'd literally do anything for you
Confress the feelings you probably don't have
I'd be your Wonder woman
But you're with your superman
He will never love you the way I can
I love you for you and I accept you for you
You're so damn beautiful
And your heart and your love, I want to fill
Who knows what life will bring us
I'll confess my feelings for you
when the time is finally right

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
June 4, 2017 4:55pm UTC

SHE is just a friend
-poem by Christine Vega
She has always been there
She's heard about my whole world
She has accepted me for me
She has stolen something from me
But I don't think I want it back
I don't want to let her go
I trust her the most
I'm getting lost in her eyes
She's there every time I cry
If I show to much emotion
She will surely run away
She stole my heart a long time ago
I don't want it back and I want her with me but
that's something that will probably never be
I don't care what people say and I don't care what people think
Girls can like girls just like boys can like girls
At the end of the day he will have you
"She is just a friend" is something I constantly say
But who am I trying to prove that to?
Am I trying to convince me, her or all of you?
She's beautiful, She's smart, She's unique and sweet
I don't know what to do, guess I'll never be with her
She doesn't need a weak, nervous girl like me
When she can have a strong, tall, cute guy who can pick her up
A guy who can make her smile and laugh
A man who could fight for her and actually win
A man who can provide her with her own gorgeous kids
A man who can provide
Not an insecure girl, alone in this world who doesn't know what she wants
She deserves someone who can protect her
Love can't hold a huge shield over our heads, just love alone isn't strong enough
I love her in a way that he never possibly could

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
May 30, 2017 2:11am UTC

REMINISCING
-poem by Christine Vega
reminiscing bout these people I'm missing
hearing their voices, seeing their smiles
but knowing "reality" can't run that extra smile
I can't feel your touch
I miss your love, I know your there
in the heavens above...
What's reality anymore?!
I'm stuck here in a fantasy!
Why can't anyone see what grief has done to me?
Misery, dispair, agony, torture
that's what life is like without singing for you
remember when I was a kid
I'd sing all your oldies songs
but yeah you'd sing along too
reminiscing everynight
I was always there for you, but of course
you was here for me too
I love you, but I don't know what to do...

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
May 30, 2017 1:59am UTC

Seems
-Poem by Christine Vega
Only 10 years old in this world on her own
Sitting in her bed, feeling all alone
Forced to call this hell a "home sweet home"
I understand, I been there before
Barely ever eating, I was sleeping on the floor
Knock upon the door
Hoping for an angel
But just another guy tryna grip her by her ankles
Her friends say she's "living the dream"
Grass aint greener on the other side
It's not how it seems
Cos I can fake a smile, I can fake laugh
But I'd never tell the truth
I'm too good for that
How everytime I meet a man he wants to make me cry?
Why you do me like that?
Why you tell all these lies?
Cos when you fall inlove
That's the day you start to die.
Since we were little girls
we're declared targets
Being shot constantly by perverts and bullies
But they never cared bout what they did to me
Remember what I said it's not how it seems
I'll continue to smile and continue to laugh
But like life is all innocent
I won't act like that
And that's a damn fact

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
May 28, 2017 8:50am UTC

Crying weeping willow.
By; Christine Vega
You're so low in the thoughts of yourself
They don't like you
But you don't like you very much either
"Get over it" they all say so easily
But to be burned with those mean words
The third degree scars in my heart
One can not simply; "Get over it"
Crying weeping willow, wipe away your tears
The blades of grass between your toes
The cooling breeze sliding right under your nose
All of the lady beetles and dragon fly problems circle around your head
Each rare happy butterfly landing on your shoulder
But quickly disappears
All of your fears are known by the most venomous snakes
Being allergic to the good things in life itself
But after every rainy day, a rainbow will appear
After every thunder storm, the blue sky returns
Darling it'll be okay
Your leaves will rise up again and heal
Crying weeping willow, wipe away your tears
Healing weeping willow, fight away your fears
Strong weeping willow, no one can attack you
Unless you let them, unless you attack yourself
Stay strong weeping willow
Someone depends on you
And that someone is you

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ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
May 28, 2017 8:36am UTC

NORMAL
Life is crazy. Relationships are crazy.
Friendship is crazy. People are crazy. There's no such thing as normal.
So when I met you about 3 years ago, I wasn't in a "Normal" situation. Abusive relationship is what I had, the bruises in my soul that I'd never speak of to anyone else,
but only your ears heard the whispers of my fears. And at the end of the day, you'd always be there.
A while later I tell you I've moved on and found someone new. I'm like "He listens to me just like you do!" But... Who knew that he would be the same and the scars upon my heart would return again but deeper than before. You knew...
You always warned me, you tried to "fight" for me. But was it all an act?! Because the day you told me you loved me, it happened all over again.
-Poem by Christine Vega

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ChristineCaroluz*