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Status: Speaking through my silent but screaming loud words written down for all to read

Member Since: 16 Oct 2016 09:01pm

Last Seen: 13 Jun 2020 03:45am

Location: Pennslyvania

user id: 397774

36 Favorites
5 Following
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Hello, my name is Christina.
Just a highschool girl, struggling to get good grades, get to her job ontime,
finish all her homework and try to get into a good college. I also have a few hobbies <3

My Social Media:
Instagram; Oh_so_chubbz

Twitter: ChrissysPhotos
Snapchat; sexiilgbtq
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ohsochubbz

Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy reading what I've written :)

  1. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2017 8:59pm UTC
    You lost this match.
    -Poem by Christine Vega
    Feeling lost and broken
    All the words left unspoken
    I'm broken and bruised
    I'm an old toy; I am used.
    I don't want to affect you.
    I don't need to take the blame.
    But when pain comes like the flu.
    And you're stuck feeling blue.
    Don't come back to me; you're unwanted.
    You're not forgiven, and when your bleeding
    I'll turn away.
    But now nobody is falling for your games.
    You are a fool. I'm no longer tool.
    I see how you are; Where the darkness lies.
    Deep within, inches under the skin
    Pathetic sneaks in. Weakness stands and shouts.
    When your on the ground you'll ask me where am I now
    But I'm not coming back, that is a fact!
    I see right through your dumb little acts!!
    Press X - Y - Z
    Leave it to me, get through round 3
    I never meant to you what you meant me,
    But that's okay cause I now see through the screen!
    You lost this match, I won't take it all back
    Take yourself home, where you are alone.
    You betrayed the only person who cared about you.
    Now nobody is left, one day you'll know the feeling of
    being broken and bruised.
    Lost and confused, with nothing to do.
    I'd wish the best to you, but the best thing you had was me.
    And I no longer want you!

  2. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    September 17, 2017 7:17pm UTC
    i feel broken inside and i dont know what to do
    i feel like any minute id lose my mind like i lost you
    i can't let go of this pain
    i cant let go of this urge to break down this time
    being strong is really hard to do
    i dont know how much more i can possibly take
    how many more smiles i could possibly fake
    how many more miles these scarred up legs can make

  3. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    September 4, 2017 12:52am UTC
    I cover up the scars and bruises so you don't see and become afraid of seeing the darkness within me.

  4. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 29, 2017 12:28am UTC
    Original poem by Christine Vega
    Yes, on the outside I'm smiling and laughing.
    But if you stare deeper into my eyes,
    You'll see right through my little lies.
    On the inside I'm dying and cracking.
    Bruising, burning, and bleeding.
    Searching, confused and
    I don't know what to do.
    Look into my eyes and you will see the truth.

  5. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 27, 2017 4:37pm UTC
    LYRICS of "Sorry that I loved you" by Anthony Neely
    I'm so sorry that I hurt you
    Sorry that I fell through
    Sorry I was falling in love with you
    I'm sorry that it came true
    But sorry doesn't turn back time
    For all that I have done to you
    I wish that I could make it right
    So sorry that I loved you
    Sorry that I needed you
    Sorry that I hold you tight
    And I'm So sorry for...
    Making you love me and saying goodbye
    For being the one that taught you how to cry
    It was love love love and it passed us by
    For giving you every thing that you dreamed
    For taking it back when I fled the scene
    Sorry love, for wasting your time

  6. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 24, 2017 8:46pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  7. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 22, 2017 6:29pm UTC
    Sound, Strength and Power.
    -Christine Vega
    To all the screams I left in silence.
    To the bright thoughts I left behind in darkness.
    To all the people who trust me, listen to these lies;
    I am having fun, I'm also feeling fine.
    I'll count to thirty, while you go run and hide.
    While I go searching, a "real" smile you will find.
    To the very few I trust, listen to the truth.
    I need something more than ever,
    and that something is you.
    You lean on me and I lean on you.
    This is the best of all, when we are feeling blue.
    So the quiet in my words outloud shall never be so true.
    But the yelling in my written letters will always be nonfiction.
    To all the ones whose pain I bathe in.
    You should know the poison you're afflicting.
    I may be your burden. I may be your gentle star.
    But no matter where in this world you are,
    you'll always make an impact.
    Whether that's good or bad, we cannot control that.
    Whether we are happy or sad, can we control that?
    Whether they feel angry or scared, we cannot that.
    In this world we may feel powerless.
    But when you're in the darkness,
    with those you don't trust,
    and you're not feeling safe enough,
    but have the strength to stand with honesty and courage;
    That's when we are all truly powerful.

  8. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 22, 2017 6:10pm UTC
    Whether you think
    you CAN or you
    CANT, you are

  9. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 20, 2017 3:44pm UTC
    I never thought I'd be in this situation
    Knowing what I want
    But unsure how to get it done

  10. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 17, 2017 7:31pm UTC
    original poem by Christine Vega
    (aka Memorium & Chrissys)
    I miss the smile and voice I used to get lost in.
    I miss the girl that I've never had.
    A daydream is all you'll ever be?
    An imaginary memory; yes, it is a tragedy.
    But you can't clearly see, how much you really mean to me!
    Babygirl, you can't hear the tears I bleed!
    Princess, I'll be your subject. Life will never be a World war 3.
    Baby, I'd do my best and better than that and
    Yes, I'm not a man. But I'll do better than he ever can!
    Give you love, give you hope, give you inspiration and faith.
    Don't need to rush but please don't leave me here to waist away.
    Wish you'd come by, I wish you could stay.
    Trust me, Love me, Hold me, Break me, Bleed me, Want me.
    Scream me, Hurt me, Fix me, Take me, Need me.
    I'll hold you, Love you, Bleed you, Scream you, Take you, Praise you!
    Need you, Want you, hold you as long as you please.
    When will you steal me so I can be your one and only.
    Love this holy should be on a throne.
    You are the one. That I needed most. You truly don't know;
    That you are a queen. Believe me.

  11. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2017 6:33pm UTC
    My friend,
    -Christine Vega
    As I thought. Once again you've stopped by.
    My long life friend, that is what you are.
    Depression is your first name and Anxiety is your last.
    No matter how hard I try to ignore you, the more you bring up the past.
    Thought it would be easy to hold up my shield.
    But once again you slip on through my fingers...

  12. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2017 6:12pm UTC
    Mother's Day
    Poem by; Christine Vega
    Today is a day that I hate.
    Today is a day of sorrow and regret
    Who knew that this would be your fate?
    And who knew pain is all that I would get?
    Your father wanted you, and I wanted you more.
    Been a long time since you've been gone,
    and I wish you were here.
    I'm a mommy that makes angels.
    That's what everybody always tells me.
    Who would you have been?
    A mama's boy or a tough guy like your dad?
    Every single mother's day I remember you.
    Now you'd be in your terrible twos.
    Driving mommy and daddy crazy!
    But it would be okay,
    I'd love you just like I do now.

  13. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2017 5:57pm UTC
    Somethings are better left unsaid.
    But sometimes those things that aren't said,
    are the things that they needed to hear the most!

  14. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2017 5:54pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  15. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2017 5:18pm UTC
    Confess the feelings you probably don't have
    -Poem by Christine Vega
    One day I'd wish to meet you by the cherry tree
    and hear you say that you love me
    Confess your feelings
    Feelings you probably don't have
    But this is my fantasy
    "Please senpai notice me"
    Confess the feelings you probably don't have
    I need you in my life and I want you as my wife
    I wouldn't let you get hurt cos' babygirl I'll protect you
    I'd get under that knife, jump infront of a train for you
    I'd literally do anything for you
    Confress the feelings you probably don't have
    I'd be your Wonder woman
    But you're with your superman
    He will never love you the way I can
    I love you for you and I accept you for you
    You're so damn beautiful
    And your heart and your love, I want to fill
    Who knows what life will bring us
    I'll confess my feelings for you
    when the time is finally right

  16. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2017 4:55pm UTC
    SHE is just a friend
    -poem by Christine Vega
    She has always been there
    She's heard about my whole world
    She has accepted me for me
    She has stolen something from me
    But I don't think I want it back
    I don't want to let her go
    I trust her the most
    I'm getting lost in her eyes
    She's there every time I cry
    If I show to much emotion
    She will surely run away
    She stole my heart a long time ago
    I don't want it back and I want her with me but
    that's something that will probably never be
    I don't care what people say and I don't care what people think
    Girls can like girls just like boys can like girls
    At the end of the day he will have you
    "She is just a friend" is something I constantly say
    But who am I trying to prove that to?
    Am I trying to convince me, her or all of you?
    She's beautiful, She's smart, She's unique and sweet
    I don't know what to do, guess I'll never be with her
    She doesn't need a weak, nervous girl like me
    When she can have a strong, tall, cute guy who can pick her up
    A guy who can make her smile and laugh
    A man who could fight for her and actually win
    A man who can provide her with her own gorgeous kids
    A man who can provide
    Not an insecure girl, alone in this world who doesn't know what she wants
    She deserves someone who can protect her
    Love can't hold a huge shield over our heads, just love alone isn't strong enough
    I love her in a way that he never possibly could

  17. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    May 30, 2017 2:11am UTC
    -poem by Christine Vega
    reminiscing bout these people I'm missing
    hearing their voices, seeing their smiles
    but knowing "reality" can't run that extra smile
    I can't feel your touch
    I miss your love, I know your there
    in the heavens above...
    What's reality anymore?!
    I'm stuck here in a fantasy!
    Why can't anyone see what grief has done to me?
    Misery, dispair, agony, torture
    that's what life is like without singing for you
    remember when I was a kid
    I'd sing all your oldies songs
    but yeah you'd sing along too
    reminiscing everynight
    I was always there for you, but of course
    you was here for me too
    I love you, but I don't know what to do...

  18. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    May 30, 2017 1:59am UTC
    -Poem by Christine Vega
    Only 10 years old in this world on her own
    Sitting in her bed, feeling all alone
    Forced to call this hell a "home sweet home"
    I understand, I been there before
    Barely ever eating, I was sleeping on the floor
    Knock upon the door
    Hoping for an angel
    But just another guy tryna grip her by her ankles
    Her friends say she's "living the dream"
    Grass aint greener on the other side
    It's not how it seems
    Cos I can fake a smile, I can fake laugh
    But I'd never tell the truth
    I'm too good for that
    How everytime I meet a man he wants to make me cry?
    Why you do me like that?
    Why you tell all these lies?
    Cos when you fall inlove
    That's the day you start to die.
    Since we were little girls
    we're declared targets
    Being shot constantly by perverts and bullies
    But they never cared bout what they did to me
    Remember what I said it's not how it seems
    I'll continue to smile and continue to laugh
    But like life is all innocent
    I won't act like that
    And that's a damn fact

  19. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2017 8:50am UTC
    Crying weeping willow.
    By; Christine Vega
    You're so low in the thoughts of yourself
    They don't like you
    But you don't like you very much either
    "Get over it" they all say so easily
    But to be burned with those mean words
    The third degree scars in my heart
    One can not simply; "Get over it"
    Crying weeping willow, wipe away your tears
    The blades of grass between your toes
    The cooling breeze sliding right under your nose
    All of the lady beetles and dragon fly problems circle around your head
    Each rare happy butterfly landing on your shoulder
    But quickly disappears
    All of your fears are known by the most venomous snakes
    Being allergic to the good things in life itself
    But after every rainy day, a rainbow will appear
    After every thunder storm, the blue sky returns
    Darling it'll be okay
    Your leaves will rise up again and heal
    Crying weeping willow, wipe away your tears
    Healing weeping willow, fight away your fears
    Strong weeping willow, no one can attack you
    Unless you let them, unless you attack yourself
    Stay strong weeping willow
    Someone depends on you
    And that someone is you

  20. Memorium* Memorium*
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2017 8:36am UTC
    Life is crazy. Relationships are crazy.
    Friendship is crazy. People are crazy. There's no such thing as normal.
    So when I met you about 3 years ago, I wasn't in a "Normal" situation. Abusive relationship is what I had, the bruises in my soul that I'd never speak of to anyone else,
    but only your ears heard the whispers of my fears. And at the end of the day, you'd always be there.
    A while later I tell you I've moved on and found someone new. I'm like "He listens to me just like you do!" But... Who knew that he would be the same and the scars upon my heart would return again but deeper than before. You knew...
    You always warned me, you tried to "fight" for me. But was it all an act?! Because the day you told me you loved me, it happened all over again.
    -Poem by Christine Vega


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