Armenian_

Armenian__girl

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
November 24, 2010 3:10pm UTC

I am officially naming my remote control
WALDO

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
June 13, 2010 1:03pm UTC

HEIGHT OF LAZINESS:
a naked man over a naked woman waiting for an Earthquake to do the rest....

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
June 12, 2010 7:08pm UTC

HEIGHT OF LAZINESS:
a naked man over a naked woman waiting for an Earthquake to do the rest....

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
May 9, 2010 7:45pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 63 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
May 3, 2010 4:37pm UTC

$$___$$$__$$$____$$$$
$$$__$$$_________$$______$$$$
$$$_$$$____$$_____$$$___$$
$$$$$$_____$$_______$$___$$$
$$$_$$$____$$____$$$$______$$
$$$__$$$$__$$___________$$$$
_$$$$_________$$$_$$$$
$$$---$$_______$$$_$$
$$$___________$$ $$
$$$___________$$$
$$$$$$_$$$$$$ $$$
$$$___$$$__$$$___(¯`•.•´¯)
$$$___$$$__$$$___`•.,(¯`•.•´¯)
$$$___$$$__$$$__(¯`•.•´¯),.•´
$$$____$$$$$$____`•.,.•
$$$_____$$$__$$$$$$
_$$$ ___$$$_-$$$__$$$¬
__$$$__$$$__$$$__$$$
___$$$$$____$$$__$$$
___$$$$______$$$$$$__$$$___$$$
__$$$$_______________$$$___$$$
_$$$$________________$$$___$$$
$$$$_________________$$$___$$$
$$____________________$$$$$$

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
May 1, 2010 11:10am UTC

white people say 11:11
Arabs say 9:11
Indians say 7:11..

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:34pm UTC

This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s***!"
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms
(add this to your favorites if your against child abuse)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:29pm UTC

Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:23pm UTC

Why Guys Love Girls:
1.The way they always smell good even if it's just shampoo
2.The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3.How cute they look when they sleep
4.The ease in which they fit into our arms
5.The way they kiss you and make everything alright in the world
6.How cute they are when they eat
7.The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end its all worth while
8.The way they are always warm even if its minus 30 degrees
9.The way they look good no matter what they wear
10.The way she fishes for compliments even though you both know shes the most beautiful thing on this earth
11.how cute they are when they argue
12.How their hand always seems to find ours
13.The way they smile
14.The way you feel when you see her name on the caller id after you've had a big fight
15.The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know an hour later...
16.The way they kiss you when youve done something nice for her
17.The way they kiss you when you say"i love you"
18.Actually.. just the way they kiss you
19.The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20.Then apologizing for crying over something that silly
21.The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22.Then the way they apologize when it really does hurt (even though we dont admit it!)
23.The way they say "I miss you"
24.The way you miss them
25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesnt hurt her anymore...Yet regardless whether you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not.Because once in your life whatever they were to the world they become the world to you.When you look them in the eyes traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without a trace of sound you know that your own life is inevitably consumed with the rhythmic beatings of her very own heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of a mind, but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:19pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 219 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:17pm UTC

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 156 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:15pm UTC

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?!" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:14pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 6:09pm UTC

A LOGICAL SOLUTION.
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.
A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 29, 2010 5:59pm UTC

9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 27, 2010 8:57pm UTC

Telephone Call
(((RING))))
**Pick Up**
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul "
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Paul."
"Oh yes I do. He's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom
door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the
driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and
he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess
he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit
the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause**
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??"... Is this 486 -5731??

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 27, 2010 8:54pm UTC

Math
He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once,he kissed her twice,
and said,"Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack
In silent satisfication,
She sweetly gave the kisses back and
said,"Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her,she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And together both smiled and said,
"That's multiplication,"
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision,
He kicked that boy three blocks away,
And said,"Now that's long division!"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 27, 2010 8:54pm UTC

things that sound dirty at thanksgiving
Talk about a huge breast!
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
Whew, that's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with your meat.
Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
You still have a little bit on your chin.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
How long do I beat it before it's ready?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 27, 2010 8:51pm UTC

Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes:
Caution: I drive like you do!
Strangers have the best candy
Save the Earth, it's the only planet with Chocolate
No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
I didn't ask to be a princess but if the crown fits...
I'm a cruel and heartless b**ch but I’m damn good at it
I brake for scholars, priests, and no apparent reason
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Armenian__girl
posted a quote
April 27, 2010 8:46pm UTC

We spend the first twelve months of our children's' lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Witty Profiles

Armenian__girl