The Will To Live
By Randi Orris
He starts to change suddenly, but subtly.
A hair cut.
Less smiling.
Deeper conversations.
Blood-shot eyes.
They have no idea whats coming.
Days go by, times marches on.
One day he doesn't show up to school.
He's at home, writing a note.
"Mom, I'm sorry. Its not your fault, you've done nothing wrong. I love you."
He takes a breath and continues.
"Dad, I don't want to hurt you, please take care of mom."
A tear falls.
"Baby sister, I regret the fact that you will never remember me. I bet you'll grow up to become a beautiful young woman."
A sob escapes his body.
"Jack, my closest friend, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to bother you with my feelings and thoughts, but then they overtook me. I'll miss you."
He's losing it now.
"Amanda, my love, I'm so sorry. I'll wait for you on the other side. I'll love you forever."
He runs his fingers through his hair as all his feelings flow from his eyes.
He lays back on his bed, looks at the gun.
He clutches the note to his chest, closes his eyes.
One. Last. Breath.
Barrel to his head, hands shaking.
He puts his finger on the trigger.
Suddenly, he puts the gun down.
Tears the note to shreds.
He decided then to live.
To not give up.
Ten years from then he holds his newborn daughter for the first time.
Looks into his wife, Amanda's, eyes.
His father and best friend congratulate him.
His mother is overcome wiith joy.
His sister becomes an aunt.
Life continued.
He Lived.