Best Whoops Quotes This Year

FluffyScamp
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 6:26pm UTC

Today, I received my first detention.
A guy had the nerve to "compliment" me,
on my chest.
And well, I may or may not have hit him,
while yelling some very colorful words.
Waddup detention. Waddup.

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softballxwin27
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 5:07pm UTC

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Sorry, I just dropped my bag of Doritos.

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Butterbear
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 1:37pm UTC

Me: *nervously orders my food*
Me: Man I hate public speaking

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Butterbear
posted a quote
July 21, 2013 10:54pm UTC

So when I was 5 I lived in this house up in the woods
with my dad and I could never sleep so I would always
walk out to his room and just stand there staring at him
in the dark until he woke up like those posessed little
girls in horror movies and that's why he has scare
problems.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 137 points

DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 2:09pm UTC

this one time in 6th grade
these three girls would bully me and call me a fallggot so instead of just taking it I put cigarettes in all of their purses and went to the counselor fake crying saying I was "worried about my friends dying of cancer" and they all got suspended and two of them got pulled out of school by their moms.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 12:56pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
Chocolate makes dogs REALLY tired.
Mine has been sleeping for like 3 days.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 115 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
July 30, 2013 7:50pm UTC

WHEN I WAS
A YOUNG BOY
MY FATHER
TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
HE SAID
listen here you lil shît
lemme tell you one thing
I'm the real slim shady

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
December 10, 2013 3:46pm UTC

How to avoid getting in trouble after sneaking out
You: *enter the house*
Parent: Where did you go?
You: Where did you come from Cotton Eyed Joe?
You: *continue to dance around your parent until you reach your bedroom*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 84 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 6:08pm UTC

When you're listening to someone elses conversation and you notice someone who keeps trying to talk but gets cut off and they slowly stop talking

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
December 30, 2013 6:55pm UTC

i want to build a house inside your ribcage
and live there next to your heart forever.
forever is a short word and a long time,
but it is made up of a million tiny infinities
stacked together like playing cards,
and love is a game that everyone tries to
cheat at but no one knows how to win.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 75 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 9:32pm UTC

Me: *wonders why I didn't get any notifications after posting a good quote 2 hours ago*
Me: *realizes I never posted it*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 47 points

DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 2:40pm UTC

I can't wait until i get a job at Starbucks because I'm going to spell everyone's names wrong so they can't Instagram their cups.

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 27, 2013 12:39pm UTC

One time, my friends and I were walking down the stairs at school and one of them told a
joke. I was laughing so hard that I fell down the stairs laughing and when I got up, I was
still laughing and then we just kept walking and didn't talk about that incident ever again

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
December 15, 2013 8:06pm UTC

Gym Teacher: How many of you guys are fit?
Me: *raises hand*
Kid: Define fit
Gym Teacher: Uhm, you can walk up a flight of stairs without breathing heavily and pausing repeatedly
Me: *slowly drops hand*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points

celestialerror*
posted a quote
September 6, 2013 10:28pm UTC

And with a heavy heart,
I've realized just how little
I mean to you.
Honestly,
it hurts.
Oh god,
does it hurt.
But I knew it was coming,
I always have;
I just wish it didn't happen
so damn soon.
(DS)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 35 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 6:45pm UTC

Me: *checking notifications*
*name commented on your quote*
Me: What did I do wrong today?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

Amenah
posted a quote
February 14, 2014 1:15pm UTC

Reaction to a dumb quote:
You go through the whole double-take, rereads-in-desbelief, clicks-on-quote, writes-out-frustrated-comment,
realises-this-is-a-waste-of-time, gives-up, deletes-comment, moves-on-and-hopes-that-user-never-pops-on-screen-again.
That can't just be me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
January 20, 2014 2:44pm UTC

Am I the only one that feels like a loser when this happens?
Me: Hey, what's up?
Friend: Nothing, just at the mall shopping, about to go to a movie. What about you?
Me: At home on Netflix...

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
November 30, 2013 1:46pm UTC

Friend: *holding expensive globe*
Teacher: don't drop that-
Me: thun thun thun, aye, don't drop that thun thun thun!

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MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 5:28pm UTC

IN ENGLISH WE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT A GREAT EXPERIENCE WE HAD IN OUR LIFE SO I WROTE ABOUT HOW I GOT ACCEPTED TO HOGWARTS AND CONTINUED ON FOR LIKE 10 PARAGRAPHS AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
BUT
GUESS WHO ENDED UP GETTING A LETTER SENT HOME.
M
E

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points

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Best Whoops Quotes This Year