Best Ugh Quotes Ever

Steve*
posted a quote
August 27, 2013 9:57pm UTC

DOES everyone’s voice…
talksuperfastwhenthingsarewrittenlikethis?
Or
in. their. head. pause. between. words. when. a. period. is. placed. between. them?
ANd IF a PERrSon tyPEs Like thls,
THey iMagINe a VOiCe going Up AnD Down?
AND WHEN THE TEXT IS ALL CAPS, YOU SAY IT A LITTLE LOUDER IN YOUR HEAD.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 234 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 14, 2013 4:21pm UTC

When you're doing something
you're not supposed to do, every small noise scares you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 231 points

bye*
posted a quote
September 13, 2013 5:29pm UTC

tiny little turn ons:
- people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk
- catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made
- people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go
- somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking

👍 this is good · read the comments · 229 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 6:13pm UTC

OMG 12-year-olds are so
weird and annoying. God, do they even know anything? They are way too young to be on Witty.
~ 13-year-olds

👍 this is good · read the comments · 286 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 5:39pm UTC

A friend of mine asked me if
I'm going to her wedding. I said, "No, I'll catch the next one."
She's mad at me now.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 221 points

gab*
posted a quote
July 9, 2013 7:50pm UTC

"you'll never be
as pretty as her"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 245 points

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
April 30, 2013 5:29pm UTC

I wonder what it feels like
right before you jump off the edge,
knowing your life is going to end.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 222 points

bye*
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 8:04pm UTC

where the f/ck did July go pretty sure it was 2003 ten hours ago

👍 this is good · read the comments · 226 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 7:27pm UTC

What do Justin Beiber and Pinocchio
have in common? They both want to be real boys.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 226 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 9, 2013 2:28pm UTC

high school sucks because you spend all 4 years trying to figure out which friends are genuine and as soon as you realize who your real friends are, you graduate

👍 this is good · read the comments · 203 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 6:33pm UTC

Guys are like fish... Yeah, there are plenty in the sea,
but we sometimes forget that part of the sea is polluted and may produce disfunctional, mutated fish.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 201 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 3:56pm UTC

I'm single by choice. Not my
choice, but still a choice.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 199 points

* Sabaism *
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 6:25pm UTC

Story time #7
So today I was running home
And I fell and cut my thigh, but somehow it didn't rip my pants
So I had blood running down my leg
And some boy walks up to me.
Boy: What's wrong with you?
Me: I got my period. I don't have a tampon. God, this is so embarrassing.
Boy: But... You're... You're a boy.. Right?
Me: Yea...
Boy: But. Boys don't get periods... Do they?
Me: Actually, they do. You'll get it around Freshman year.
Boy: That means I only have another year to go.
Me: Oo. It's gonna hurt, trust me. Better get used to wearing tampons.
Boy: Okay...
Me: Here, let's go to the store. I'll buy you some so you can start to practice.
Boy: Thanks, sir. That's really nice of you.
*At the store*
Cashier: That's nice of you to buy these. Most guys would be ashamed.
Boy: I'm more worried than I am ashamed...
Cashier: Why are you worried, sonny?
Boy: I'll be getting mine next year.
Cashier: But. Aren't you a boy?
Boy: Yes sir. When did you get yours?
Cashier: I didn't get mine...
Me: You're one of those rare ones that don't get it. I am so jealous.
Cashier: Wait... Is that why I couldn't produce children..?
Me: Yes, yes it is.
Then I gave him the money and walked out.
Yep.
I bought tampons for a boy just because of yolo.
I really need a hobby.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 231 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 14, 2013 7:13pm UTC

I'm just going to start carrying
around a voice recorder so that when someone makes a promise, I can record it and play it back to them later when they forget about it like people do in TV shows.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 192 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 1:07pm UTC

I would literally throw last year’s version of myself down a set of stairs

👍 this is good · read the comments · 192 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 5:09pm UTC

I hope I can still remember the
dance to 'Thriller' when I become a zombie.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 187 points

Chris*
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 11:08am UTC

There are 7 billion people
on this planet who I have
not met yet, and 197
countries I have not
visited. Yet I am stuck in this
insignificant town, being
pressured into making
decisions about my future
when I barely know
who I am.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 185 points

dolph*
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 5:30pm UTC

"haha loser look at you sitting all by yourself at lunch"
"but mom im homeschooled"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 183 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 10:27pm UTC

it's bad manners to say "i love you" with a mouthful of lies

👍 this is good · read the comments · 186 points

*crybaby*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 4:32am UTC

Leonardo DiCaprio: *names child Oscar*
Doctor: "Would you like to hold h-"
Leonardo DiCaprio: "Say it like we rehearsed it."
Doctor: *sighs* "And the Oscar goes to..."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 190 points

Witty Profiles

Best Ugh Quotes Ever