Let go of control. Social situations and relationships are infinitely complex, and you will never be able to control how people think and feel, especially about you. So let it go and allow things to happen to you. Allow people to dislike you, judge you, or talk about you because that is them and you are you. And you will always be anxious. You will always be paranoid and scared. But you will also always be brave, and kind, and sincere, and warm, and open, open, open. Despite your corny sense of humor and the resting b.itch face permanently set on your face. Trying to be friendly and funny with people who are determined to dislike you is kind of like Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump running for President: people are going to doubt your intentions and then nobody’s gonna believe you’re for real. So regardless of the invisible teeth gnawing at the insides of your stomach, continue to go out with people and treat them nicely. No matter what you know (or think you know) they think and say about you. It’s not about proving them wrong, no. It’s about confirming to yourself that you are a good person, a worthy friend because even if others think of you like crap (however misguided or right they may be), you don’t have to do the same to them because you represent yourself, not others. It’s okay if you don’t have a group of girls to take #friendshipgoals photos with or a fun group of people to be #squadgoals with. Go to a party for the party, for the music, for that one girl who didn’t listen to all the rumors about you. Go there for yourself. Friends will come if they want to come. If they don’t, there are 7 billion people in the world, 7 continents, and approximately 4,000 cities. You’ve yet to meet some of the best people in your life who can understand, accept, and respect your weird ticks and flaws, and recognize your best intentions. It’s difficult, I know, and most days you will have to keep telling yourself ten times a day that you’re okay, you’re fine, there’s nothing wrong with you, you will find more friends. But you know what? Would you really want to hang out with the type of people who make an effort to talk you down and cast you out? People are allowed to say no to a friendship, and you are not entitled to anyone’s good graces. Relationships are a two-way street, and it won’t matter how much you give when the other refuses to receive and give back, and such is their right. Instead, embrace your alone and find someone who you don’t have to convince to care for you, embrace you, and see the good in you. Find someone who you don’t have to constantly convince to stay.
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