Best Contest_lame_pun Quotes This Week

Steve
posted a quote
October 3, 2013 9:09pm UTC

What's the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 381 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 3:29pm UTC

to scare everyone on halloween im just going to upload a selfie

👍 this is good · read the comments · 187 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 10:03pm UTC

When i saw the new
'contest lame pun' thing my face brightened up so much it was like someone turned a lamepun

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 183 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 6:39pm UTC

and here we have my english teacher's favourite pun
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

👍 this is good · read the comments · 169 points

CookieMonster09*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:00pm UTC

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay, he woke up.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 133 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:36pm UTC

At McDonalds last night this dude,
gave me the wrong flavoured mcflurry,
so i threw it back at him and yelled ,
"You McF/cked up.
format credit to: Jade672

👍 this is good · read the comments · 125 points

sapphireflames*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 8:06pm UTC

✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎
I really wanted a camouflage shirt,
but I couldn't find one.
✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎✐✎
cookiedoughformats

👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 8:07am UTC

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Jewish.
Jewish who?
Don't Jewish that Hi.tler was hot like me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 126 points

elephants_are_cool*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 7:55pm UTC

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 112 points

elephants_are_cool*
posted a quote
October 13, 2013 5:49pm UTC

You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass.
You know what that means?
You matter

👍 this is good · read the comments · 108 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 8:28pm UTC

Why wasn't the boy allowed to watch the pirate movie?
It was rated arrrrr.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 100 points

Rajsonkar
posted a quote
October 3, 2013 10:29pm UTC

Men play football at 20Men play tenis at 30Men play golf at 40who else noticed that balls are getting smaller as they are getting older?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 108 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 7:16pm UTC

Can a match box?
No, but a tin can.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 103 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 10:20pm UTC

Haha, so how did you
like my little pun in my last quote there? It was quote stupundous, wasn't it?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 92 points

AnaCastro196
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 12:36am UTC

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 78 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 7:13pm UTC

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 70 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:44pm UTC

Format chickittylover
Facebook would be . .
way cooler if it was on t.v, "in other news joes
girlfriend is a cold heartless b/tch.
details at eleven . . . .

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 61 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 3:25pm UTC

if you call a girl barbecute chances are she’ll be your grillfriend

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 66 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:54pm UTC

Old people are either super nice
or the meanest people on earth
there is no inbetween.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 62 points

Bec*
posted a quote
October 6, 2013 4:16am UTC

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 64 points

Witty Profiles

Best Contest_lame_pun Quotes This Week