Exactly one year ago, you said you had a surprise for me. I really didn’t know what to expect, but I wondered why you were so nervous. What I got that night was the farthest thing from my mind, but yet it ended up being the best present I received. Throughout our time together, I learned so much, especially about love. I learned that love isn’t always patient and kind like people say; it can be selfish, stubborn, and bitter. But more than that, love is strong-standing, wonderful, caring, sometimes kinky, and always beautiful. I may have shown some of the worst parts of love, especially in lying to you for so long, but I loved you bigger than the world. If I didn’t love you as much as I did, I wouldn’t be sitting here sobbing as I write this. You also helped me become more comfortable with myself as I accepted who I was. Now I can say that I’m proudly out to most all of my friends and I’ve never been happier about it. I wish that you could be here to see, and I know someday you will be. Someday on a Christmas Eve in the future, we’ll be sitting by the fire together watching the snow come down and falling asleep with our arms around each other. I guarantee it. iloveyou my wonderfully amazing, beautiful angel. Merry Christmas and happy one year. Oh and I will always love you more.

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Exactly one year ago, you said you had a surprise for me. I really

6 faves · 13 comments · Dec 24, 2013 4:44pm

nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
Earlier I had a day dream. We woke up in the morning of our first Christmas together. You smiled at me and said, "Merry Christmas, darling." And I just smiled, pulled out a bow, and popped it on your head. Taken aback you asked, "what are you doing?" I just looked at you and said, "you're all I have wanted for Christmas since 2012."
I love and miss you baby, but one day we will make it happen... Things will work out, they have to. If not i am positive I don't believe in God or anything like that. If He exists, He will know true love when He sees it.
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Jillian Marie* · 1 decade ago
I don't even know what to say anymore. I honestly don't know if there is anything to say to you. It just hurts thinking about you...
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nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
I know.. I feel the same. I understand if you don't want to talk anymore right now. It's hard to think about you too. But I don't think I would have it any other way
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Jillian Marie* · 1 decade ago
And it's just...you say you've been dreaming about me but all I've been having lately are nightmares. It's really hard without you baby...
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nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
It's very hard without you because every dream I have about you... Well I wake up to a nightmare. I guess you're just a beautiful nightmare sweetie... And Merry Christmas darling. I got most of what I wanted but you weren't under my tree so I didn't get everything.
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Jillian Marie* · 1 decade ago
Same here. It just doesn't feel the same as last Christmas.
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nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
It doesn't. I hope you at least had a good Christmas.
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Jillian Marie* · 1 decade ago
Honestly I didn't. I didn't sleep almost at all on Christmas Eve, so I was tired in the morning but up early anyways. And just...ugh I'm so fed up with dealing with all this alone.
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nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
You're not alone. I'm still right here. I know it isn't enough but for now it has to be.
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Jillian Marie* · 1 decade ago
I just...I keep having really bad nightmares, and I know I mentioned it earlier but they just keep getting worse. Last night, I had two, which is why I was up at 3 in the morning and on here. I wish I had you here so that I could wake you up and you could make me feel all better.
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nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
I'm sorry... I wish I could help too... Do you want to talk about what they are about?
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Jillian Marie* · 1 decade ago
Well let's just keep it short and say we got burned alive in one and my parents locked me out of the house in the other.
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nevergrowup89 · 1 decade ago
Wow. They're just dreams. I'm still here, you're still here, your parents love you still, they are just scared.
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Exactly one year ago, you said you had a surprise for me. I really

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Jillian Marie*

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sad · iloveyou · ugh · oneyear · love