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xXxJennaMcCallxXx

  1. Jahyvie Jahyvie
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 1:40pm UTC
    Heres to the parents who will no longer have one of their children with them on Christmas mornings.
    Credit: Jahyvie

  2. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 10:43am UTC
    dear brain,
    sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him.
    dear tummy,
    sorry for all the butterflies.
    dear pillow,
    sorry for all the tears.
    dear heart,
    sorry for all the damage.

  3. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 10:58am UTC
    Please don't yell at me.
    There is a 100% chance I will cry.

  4. ridemydino ridemydino
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 9:11am UTC
    Cynthia Rose: I have a confession to make.
    Fat Amy: Oh, here it comes...lesbihonest.
    Cynthia Rose: This is hard for me to admit to you guys, but for the past two years, I've had a serious gambling problem.
    Fat Amy: Wait what?
    Cynthia Rose: It all started when I broke up with my girlfriend.
    Fat Amy: Whoop, there it is!

  5. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 11:46am UTC
    Dear Fork,
    I know I haven't talked too much since I ran away with the dish,
    but I have something to tell you.
    You have a son.
    His name is Spork.
    He has your hair.
    Love always,
    Spoon

  6. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 3:16pm UTC
    Merry Christmas
    and Happy Holidays to everyone out there.
    And if you weren’t blessed with someone special
    to spend it with, or if you haven’t been blessed with gifts,
    just remember you’ve been blessed with your life
    and that you’re still living.
    There’s so many other people out there
    that have it much worse than you.
    So please, try and be grateful.
    Happy holidays and take care everyone.

  7. ѕυммєяѕυηѕєтѕ* ѕυммєяѕυηѕєтѕ*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2012 12:32pm UTC
    this is for the soilders
    who won't make it home for Christmas this year.

  8. countrygirl123 countrygirl123
    posted a quote
    December 21, 2012 2:56pm UTC
    The next time you think of beautiful things,
    don't forget to count yourself in.

  9. countrygirl123 countrygirl123
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2012 11:30pm UTC
    I do love her.
    Bro, if you loved her you'd stop flirting with all these other girls. No winky faces, no sexx jokes, and you wouldn't tell them that they're beautiful. Even if she says it doesn't hurt, she's lying because she doesn't want you to feel bad. Your girlfriend is willing to do ANYTHING for you. But you can't love her like a real man, then I'll find someone who's willing to do anything to be her everything.

  10. sammy* sammy*
    posted a quote
    December 21, 2012 7:24pm UTC
    Do you still like him?
    I don't want to.
    But you do...
    Always.

  11. sammy* sammy*
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 7:44pm UTC
    Pants without pockets: why
    Pants with fake pockets: okay now you're just being rude

  12. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 6:37pm UTC
    doing stupid things in front of
    the bathroom mirror right before taking a shower.

  13. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 5:51pm UTC
    janitor: from the windows, to the walls. cleaning up the bathroom stalls. til my mop wets all these halls, and all you b/tches fall.

  14. annalove26 annalove26
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2012 9:24pm UTC
    Yesterday morning I tried
    grabbing fog..
    I mist.

  15. UnicornHipster UnicornHipster
    posted a quote
    December 15, 2012 12:38pm UTC
    Her names Victoria
    She died a hero yesterday. She hid her first graders in the cabinets and the closets after hearing the gunfire. When the shooter came to her classroom, she told him that her students were in the gym. He then gunned her down and moved on. She saved the lives of all her students . Please pass this on if you see it.
    She deserves to be remembered for her bravery

  16. MENT_2_B MENT_2_B
    posted a quote
    December 15, 2012 9:16pm UTC
    Dad: When you go on a date no clevage or short dresses.
    Me: You make it sound like I have a short dress
    Mom: ...or clevage
    Dad: ...or a date
    Me: true.

  17. itsamadworld itsamadworld
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2012 5:53pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  18. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2012 6:51pm UTC
    when i was little i would put my
    arms in my shirt and tell people i lost my arms.
    lol jk, i did that today.

  19. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2012 9:06pm UTC
    SO, I WAS WATCHING CHRISTMAS MOVIES TODAY, AND....
    THE GRINCH: HELP ME, I'M FEELING!!
    THE GRINCH: BLEEDING HEARTS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!
    THE GRINCH: AM I JUST EATING BECAUSE I'M BORED?
    THE GRINCH: I COULD LAY IN BED, STARE AT THE CEILING AND SLIP SLOWLY INTO MADNESS.
    THE GRINCH: HATE, HATE HATE. HATE, HATE HATE. LOATHE ENTIRELY.
    YOU GUYS.
    I AM THE GRINCH.
    THE GRINCH IS ME.

  20. GetInMyVanItHasFreeWifi GetInMyVanItHasFreeWifi
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2012 1:23pm UTC
    I'm now convinced that girls really
    only want one thing from guys...
    All of our hoodies.

:)

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