witty_guy_here's Favorites

gurlygirl217
posted a quote
July 29, 2013 3:25pm UTC

*buying stuff at the store*
Cashier: "Are you buying all these?"
Me: "NOOOOOOO, I'm stealing them,
I just wanted to show you first".

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point

kungfupenguin
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 1:49pm UTC

I cant change
Even if i tried
Even if i wanted to

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

Amenah

posted a quote
July 28, 2013 6:14pm UTC

IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS,
& ♥ J u s t i n ♥ B i e b e r ♥ s t i l l
sounds like a girl to me...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points

smile_beautiful
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 9:09pm UTC

.
I'm always dissapointed when
a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire.
.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 24 points

xoxjillxox101
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 10:18pm UTC

Witty should defiantly have a
re-quote button by now...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points

Rajsonkar
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 8:13am UTC

Being a good person is like
being a goal keeper.
No
matter how many goals you
save . Peeple will remember
only the one you missed
formatcredit- rajsonkar

👍 this is good · read the comments · 176 points

*Yours Truly*
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 4:05am UTC

When I forget to press send,
then continue sitting there waiting for a reply like an idiot.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

Christopher Robin*
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 4:49am UTC

Whatever you are - be a good one of it.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

jasmine77jj
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 4:49am UTC

Weirdness
"We are all a little weird and life's a
little weird, and when we find
someone whose weirdness is
compatible with ours, we join up
with them and fall in mutual
weirdness and call it love."
-Dr Seuss

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

darkvlader
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 1:14am UTC

I just sit back and laugh when I get hate

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point

LookingForBrittany
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 1:19am UTC

You can't have a
relationship without any fights.
But you can make your relationship worth the fight.
x
x
x
x
x
x
••x
x
x
x
x
x
)
(
••

👍 this is good · read the comments · 22 points

TheWeirdKid
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 12:55am UTC

two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff
ba dum tst.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

TheWeirdKid
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 1:00am UTC

my cousin recently opened a pizzeria down the street. it got really sucessful, really quickly.
now he's rolling in dough.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

ladybu272
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 1:01am UTC

I hope you step on a lego

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 11:29pm UTC

Mom, you don't understand. You're not a 90s kid.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points

theWalrus
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 12:04am UTC

imagine if you called the wrong number and it ended up being a celebrity.
"mom?"
"I don't know who you are, but I will find you, and I will kill you."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

happiest*
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 3:11pm UTC

me at restaurants: is there wi-fi
me at the mountains: is there wi-fi
me at the beach: is there wi-fi
me at family parties: is there wi-fi
me at school: is there wi-fi
me in hell: is there wi-fi

👍 this is good · read the comments · 191 points

hermione23katniss
posted a quote
July 26, 2013 10:01pm UTC

My friend thought it would be funny to prank call 911
My friend: Hello 911?! IS THIS 911?!
My friend: Help me please! I'm surrounded by so many dead people!
Operator: Please stay calm. Where is your location?
My friend: AT THE CEMETARY

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points

pandaloverjillian
posted a quote
December 12, 2012 3:02pm UTC

On 12/21/12 people will be making end of the world jokes
like there's no tomorrow.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Witty Profiles

witty_guy_here