Just think about this.
Alice is seven. She loves the same things as every other little girl: drawing, dressing up, running around, watching disney channel & more. She goes to school everyday. Her teachers think she could go far. She is a great writer for her age and her maths skills are beyond her years. Her parents are very proud of her. She is a very happy little girl. She has friends who always play with her and make her laugh. Some of the boys in her class call he a 'teachers pet' or a 'nerd' but she doesn't care. Boys are stupid.
Everyday, her daddy picks her up from the school gates and drives her home. On Tuesday and Friday nights she goes to dance class with Sophie from school. She loves dance, she has always been good at that too!
Alice was now twelve. She stopped going to dance class now, her new friends told her it was for babies. She enjoys art though. Her mother hands her paintings in the kitchen. She also likes playing with make-up, but dad won't buy her any so she borrows it from Polly, her sister.
Polly is fourteen. She loves music and spends all her money on concert tickets. She has lots of friends at school. Like Alice, Polly is very smart. She is ahead in most of her classes and loves to read; not that she would ever admit that to Evan, her boyfriend who is a year older. Polly is beautiful, everyone says so. Her hair is dyed and her ears are pierced twice. Dad didn't want her to dye her hair or pierce her ears, but he would do anything for his little girls.
Alice thinks her sister is cool. She loves introducing her friends to her because the are always impressed. She would never tell Polly that she thinks she is cool though, they're always fighting. Alice doesn't get called a 'teachers pet' anymore. Now, most of the boys like her, but she doesn't like them back... boys are so immature. They don't even call her anything when she gets 98% in her maths tests. Her teachers still think she will go far, especially in English. She's always writing poetry. Everyone always tells her what a great talent she has. She wishes to persue it in the future.
Dad still picks her up after school everyday. She wanted to get the bus with her friends at first but now she was happy she didn't have to wait in the rain with all the other kids. They usually go home and they all eat dinner together: Polly, Alice, Mom & Dad. If Dads feeling generous, he'll take let them chose somewhere to eat and they can order whatever they want. Anything for his little princesses.
One day, Dad didn't show up to pick Alice up. He was sometimes late on Wednesdays, but today was Thursday. She had no idea where he could be, the drive from his work to her school was no more than ten minutes. She checked her phone and she had no texts... oh wait, she had one from Polly. It said three simple words:
'I love you.'
Alice thought nothing of it for a while, he would be here soon. Twenty minutes passed and she was starting to get worried. Dad was never this late. Maybe he had got into an accident on the way here? Her heart thumped at the thought. She told herself she was being silly. He would be here soon.
Then she remembered the text.
It sent her into a panic.
Finally, her English teacher drove out of the school and spotted little Alice sitting on the curb, looking pretty miserable. 'Hop in, I'll drive you home!' the teacher called. Alice liked her English teacher, so she got in without hesitation. She was desperate to get home.
When she reached the door of her house, she gave her teacher a small wave and pushed the door open.
Silence.
She called out, hoping to here the voices of her parents - or more importantly, Polly.
Silence.
She started to cry. What had happened? Where was everyone? A few moments later, her Dad stepped through the door. His eyes were red and his shirt was creased. Alice had never see her Dad cry; he hoped she would never have to. Before he even said a word, she ran into his arms and he guided her into his old, beaten up car.
'Wheres Polly?' she finally asked, as they drove. The car jerked forward. She knew she had been right. He didn't even have to say anything. What could he have said? What could he possibly have told his little girl?
Polly had killed herself; swallowed handfuls of pills and bottles of whatever she could find. She just couldn't take it anymore. She was tired of how people treated her. She needed it to stop. She had no other way out. It wasn't Pollys fault. It was the fault of the people who made her feel like this. No one could blame Polly. No one.
Alice was now fourteen. She had stopped writing her poems when her teachers started giving her funny looks when she handed them in. They were all about death, pain and loss. She was afraid they would send her to some hospital if she kept writing them. She didn't have the motivation anymore anyways. She'd stopped painting too, it reminded her of how things were before and how it would never be the same again. Painting caused more pain to her than it released.
Her hair was dyed and she was covered in piercings. Dad told her no when she asked, but she didn't care anymore. She did it anyway. Everyone told her how beautiful she was, but she didn't see it. The only thing she could see were her scars, which covered her thighs.
She was now the same age Polly had been when she died. She still couldn't let go. She refused to believe Polly would be gone forever. Her parents had accepted the loss and put on happy faces all the time. Alice tried that too, but it got difficult sometimes.
Her friends thought she was messed up, that she needed help. This was probably true, if Alice was honest with herself. She started smoking and drinking on the weekends. She would do anything to forget. She had never blamed Polly. It wasn't Pollys fault that people could be so cruel. Alice had learned just how cruel they could be in the years after Pollys death. Her friends would try their best to try and help her, but how could they? They only way she could be happy is if she had her big sister back.
Being at home was just as hard as being out with friends. She saw the look in her Dads eyes everytime he heard the name Polly. She noticed her Moms body freeze for a moment whenever they talked about her. She didn't know how to talk to them anymore, apart from when she discussed school or were around other people. Eventually, she just stopped talking all together.
Thier family was broken. Nobody could fix it.
Just think.
The problems you have today will blow over. It always gets better. If you do this now, your family will never be the same. If you don't have a family, think about your friends and those close to you. They will never recover from the fact that you were suffering and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
You're beautiful, strong, inspiring, loved, smart, independant and you can do this. I know you can.
Don't make a permanennt decision because of a temporary problem. You are worth it.
If you ever need to talk, comment on my profile and I'll help as best I can or even just listen if you need me to. Please. Do not hesitate.
princessdie