princessdie's Favorites

Baseballisme
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 7:54pm UTC

Stupid autocorrect. You always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 216 points

veronica_syd66
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 6:54pm UTC

How most parents react
to a yellow light: Slow down
How my parents react
to a yellow light: Go as fast as possible so you don't get stuck at a red light

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 9:23pm UTC

so i went on a date today and literally the first thing i did when i got home was take off my jeans, (i hate wearing pants but i kind of need to if i want to leave the house.) get into a t-shirt that would fit a morbidly obese man, eat half a bar of chocolate and go on witty, because pretending to be a social human being is exhausting.
ladies and gentlemen, this is my life.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 11:04am UTC

I use jokes from Witty in real life,
and my friends thiink I'm some kind of comedic genius.

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Baseballisme
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 7:56pm UTC

A disaster is when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jeans fad.

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Maddyhj
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 7:12pm UTC

If I had a rapper name it
would probably be
Lay-Z.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 261 points

MusicIsMyLifeRapIsMyHeart
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 7:58pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
Picking my kid up from school in 25 years.
Me: yo shawty leggo
Kid: mom, please not again.
Me: stop being a hater.yolo.
Kid: you're embarrassing me.
Me: swag.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 336 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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easiersaidthandone
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 10:41pm UTC

I plan on building a shopping center that contains:
-Sushi Rox
-The Groovy Smoothie
-The Premier
-Pear
-Build a Bra
Who would shop here?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 695 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 9:59pm UTC

fingers are weird???
like…… our arms just
split into other
smaller arms…………. ok

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sammy*
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 10:41pm UTC

josh hutcherson's parents are probably called
mr. hutcherdad and mrs. hutchermom.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 833 points

emz17lover
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 4:59pm UTC

And who else isnt getting a
new years eve kiss this year?
nmf/q

👍 this is good · read the comments · 422 points

wittyquotesgurl
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 5:50pm UTC

Girl I hate: *exists*
Me: Can you not

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 502 points

thisiswhatigotintroublefor
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 4:57pm UTC

Me at home: I've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
Me packing: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN

👍 this is good · read the comments · 623 points

sammy*
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 8:01pm UTC

no but honestly it's christmas in like 4 days and i have never felt less christmassy in my life.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 664 points

sarnotsav
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 3:49pm UTC

I GOT HIT BY A CAR TODAY.
i mean, the car was parked and all, but it was still
pretty damn intense.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 145 points

Ralph*
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 4:06pm UTC

I like to make friends, but I'm
too socially awkward to actually talk to people.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 104 points

sparkle123
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 3:25pm UTC

Me when I go out: I should've stayed home
Me when stay home: I should've gone out
Me when I'm around people: I want to be alone
Me when I'm alone: I want to be around people
Me when I'm mean to people: I need to be nicer
Me when I'm nice to people: I need to be meaner

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

rememberyourbeautiful
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 3:28pm UTC

Here's to the untalented people who can't wrap gifts

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 32 points

Litoudaki
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 3:38pm UTC

Person: you're really pretty
Me: are you making fun of me

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 201 points

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