My friend, Shannon (witty user: scr3amyours3lfdry769) wrote this and I think it's amazing. I had to cut a bit, because it wouldn't all fit, but it's worth the read. If you want to read the whole thing, go here:
http://hang-loose-brahh.tumblr.com/post/32325839098/so-you-want-to-kill-yourself
Imagine you come home
from school,
from yet another horrible day. Those popular mean girls were calling you names and talking about you right in front of you. That mean boy just wouldn’t stop taunting you about something that happened weeks ago. That one teacher got you in so much trouble for doing the littlest thing, and that other teacher was yelling at you because she knows you can do better than what you’re doing. So, you get home and sit on your bed.
You’re thinking for a while, about what everything will be like when you’re gone. You come to the conclusion that nobody would care. That when you’re gone everybody will be happier, and their lives would be easier. You go to your desk, and take out that suicide note you have written over and over again. You decide the note is not good enough, so you grab a video camera. Nobody is home, so it’s the perfect time, right? You turn the video camera on, and immediately start to apologize to everyone you know. Your dad, your mom, your best friend, who by the way won’t have anyone anymore because he can’t tell anyone what he’s going through, because it’s the same as you. You apologize to your siblings, your group of friends at school, and everyone you can think of. You tell them all how sorry you are and how you thank them all for getting you this far. How you know they never meant to hurt you like they did. But you tell them this is something you need to do. That you cannot deal with this sadness anymore. Lastly, you apologize to yourself. You apologize for not being strong anymore.
You stop the recording and take out those pills you found in the medicine cabinet, and you take them all as you lay in your bed for the last time dazing off.
It’s time for your parents to get home now. They picked up your little sister from school just like they always do, and when they get home she calls for you. But something is different, you do not reply. Your mother walks up to your room just in case you haven’t heard her. She sees you laying on your bed, and walks over to you. She shakes you telling you to wake up, as your sister runs into the room. But something is wrong. You are not waking up. Your mom begins to frantically shake you, begging and begging for you to get up. She starts to cry. Your mom never cries. Your sister runs to your Dad, and tells him “Sissy is not waking up and mommy is crying.” Your dad runs to your room, and realizes what has happened. He gets so angry at himself, and he doesn’t know why. He calls the police, and the only words that could leave his lips before he broke down in tears was, “my daughter committed suicide.”
The next day in school your principal announces your death. It takes a while for it to settle in, but once it does, everything just goes silent. Those mean girls all stare at each other knowing what they have done now. That one mean boy, looks down at his desk thinking of what he has said to you. Your friends just let the tears fall as they stare straight down remembering how sad you really have been. Your best friend? He has no idea what to think. He knew you were as bad as him, but never think you’d go this far. He just walks out of the classroom, and breaks down. He starts to hit things, and screams in fury because he just lost his best friend, his soul mate.
A week goes by now. The day if your funeral is today. Everyone in town goes. They all knew you. That one girl who could make everybody’s day just by her simple beautiful smile. As soon as they put you into the ground, everybody breaks down.
So, you killed yourself. Because your family hates you? Because your friends continue to let you bleed? That’s where you’re wrong. Every single person cares, just not enough to show it. Talk to someone, I promise you it’ll help. Nobody wants you gone. You’re here for a reason.
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