kokokoala's Favorites

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 6:34pm UTC

A male celebrity can literally beat his girlfriend half to death
and still have a successful career
A female celebrity can gain a few pounds and she's shunned, mocked,
and ridiculed by thousands of people over many different mediums.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 12, 2013 6:04pm UTC

Person: Hey, baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Are you implying that I'm Satan?

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 16, 2013 3:19pm UTC

things I haven't learned in high school:
how to pay bills
hot to buy a house
how to apply for college
but thank the lord that i can graphy a polynomial function

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 21, 2013 8:25pm UTC

Me: What if rocks are actually soft but they tense up when we touch them?
Friend: How stoned are you?
Me: Was that a f.cking pun?

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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dolph*
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 4:18pm UTC

‘big boobs don’t count if you’re fat’
yeah well BIG D.I.CKS DONT COUNT IF YOU ARE ONE

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 9:25pm UTC

if i were a spelling bee judge:
me: spell their
contestant: sentence please
me: they're going to build their house over there.
*walks off*

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 8:32pm UTC

i don't hate school because "i'm a teenager"
no i hate it because who the f.ck wants to wake up at 6 in the morning andgo to a place where all you feel is stupid and judged. yeah no one ok bye

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Pluto*
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 2:27pm UTC

Every party is all fun and games
until you have to clean up after everyone.

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Pluto*
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 2:20pm UTC

Do you ever just look at all your homework
and go like "f/ck no."

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Pluto*
posted a quote
May 4, 2013 1:11pm UTC

Parallel lines have a lot in common but they never meet.
Ever.
You might think that's sad.
But every other pair of lines meet once and then drift apart forever.
Which is pretty sad too.

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Pluto*
posted a quote
April 30, 2013 12:58pm UTC

*Me Before Bed*
Me: Hmm, it's kind of cold. I think I'll sleep with my socks on.
*Wakes Up 30 Minutes Later*
Me: Holy sh/t, get these sacks of lava of my feet.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

bye*
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 7:45pm UTC

do u ever listen to a song and u can just tell the singer has a beard

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jimmy365
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 11:19pm UTC

me: walks up to hot person's parents
me: my compliments to the chef
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 267 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
April 16, 2013 7:27pm UTC

Whenever I sit down in a field
I automatically start pulling out grass.
Anyone else?

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
April 16, 2013 6:22pm UTC

People from California: I'm so bored.
Other people: BUT YOU'RE IN CALFORNIA. GO MEET A MOVIE STAR.
Other people: SPEND THE DAY AT DISNEY LAND.
Other people: GO BE IN A MOVIE.
People from California: ....
People from New York: I'm so bored.
Other people: BUT YOU'RE IN NEW YORK. GO TO THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.
Other people: SEE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.
Other people: GO TO TIMES SQUARE.
People from New York: ....
People from Europe: I'm so bored.
Other people: BUT YOU'RE IN EUROPE. GO TO THE EIFFEL TOWER.
Other people: HAVE SOME TEA WITH THE QUEEN.
Other people: GO TO OKTOBERFEST.
People from Europe: ....
People from Australia: I'm so bored.
Other people: BUT YOU'RE IN AUSTRALIA. GO CUDDLE WITH A KOALA.
Other people: SPEND THE DAY SURFING.
Other people: GO WRESTLE SOME CROCODILES.
People from Australia: ....

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yourcool
posted a quote
April 15, 2013 9:15pm UTC

i'm the type of person who looks at
menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 251 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 12:40pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
You're as irrelevant
as the "t" in the word "tsunami".

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Ethanol
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 2:40am UTC

"You speak another language? Teach me all the swear words!"

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XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 11:37am UTC

I scrolled over the "Witty" logo in my top right corner and I saw a bunch of dancing cats that says "Happy Birthday"
GO HOME WITTY YOU'RE DRUNK
IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY.

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