iamaspermbank

Join Witty Profiles!

iamaspermbank

Status:

Member Since: 3 Jul 2012 10:15pm

Last Seen: 2 Dec 2013 12:57am

user id: 314496

27 Quotes
41 Favorites
1 Following
27 Followers
Comment Points
Comments
Comments on Quotes
Comments by User
Quote Comments by User
Flair ^beta

follow block report

hey, im lachie

im 16 and living in sydney, australia

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 12:53am UTC

the word bed is in the shape of a bed this is amusing

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 12:49am UTC

Interviewer: How is The Fault In Our Stars?
John Green: It's okay.
Interviewer: Okay?
John Green: Okay.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 12:46am UTC

we should bury people upside down
so when they come back as zombies, they'll dig the wrong way.
its call thinking ahead guys.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 12:39am UTC

that f-cking doge trend has ruined my ability to speak and now im worried because god forbid im stabbed or something and i call 911 and im coughing up blood and 911 finally answers and all i can gasp out is
"much knife"
"such stab"
"wow"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 12:33am UTC

im like an iphone
i just lose energy without even doing anything.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 12:28am UTC

the day is january 1st, 3009. a group of humans listen to boom boom pow. when fergie says that she is so 3008 they all stand shocked and realise. fergie is now behind the times. fergie herself has become 2000 and late. this is unbelievable news to the humans. hours later the planet decends into war and chaos.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 1, 2013 4:05am UTC

How to do well in math:
1. you don't

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 1, 2013 4:02am UTC

today my teacher said “take out something to do when you’re done with your quiz”
and some kid turned around to the girl next to him after he finished and said
“can i take you out so i can do you?”
my teachers face waS SO RED I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA $HIT HIMSELF.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
December 1, 2013 3:54am UTC

"Monsters are real.
Ghosts are real too.
They live inside us.
And sometimes,
They win."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
August 1, 2012 6:59am UTC

Her smile. Her eyes. Her laugh. The way she walks. Her voice.
I love everything about her.
But the saddest thing?
She covers her face with make-up. She pretends to be someone
she's not.
Because she doesn't know how beautiful she really is...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 3:07am UTC

Dear Lord, please grant us the ability to punch people in the face over the internet.
Amen.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
July 11, 2012 8:08am UTC

When I was little, my dad told me that the ice cream ruck only played music when it was sold out.
Well played, Dad. Well played.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 278 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
July 11, 2012 8:04am UTC

Once you hate someone, everything they do annoys you.
"Look at that d!ck tying up his shoelaces like he owns the place..."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

iamaspermbank
posted a quote
July 11, 2012 8:02am UTC

If this were the Hunger Games,
I'd kill you first.