hailstorm37's Favorites

glitter162*
posted a quote
July 11, 2013 7:24pm UTC

Back in the day, it was called
daydreaming. Now it's called ADHD.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 168 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
July 11, 2013 6:45pm UTC

So you like bad girls, huh?
Well then, you'll love me because I'm bad at everything.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 172 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 1, 2013 2:39pm UTC

dragons can literally never blow out candles that is so sad

👍 this is good · read the comments · 182 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 12, 2013 12:12pm UTC

i’m the nokia phone in a room full of iphones

👍 this is good · read the comments · 177 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 27, 2013 2:57pm UTC

I like to listen to sad music when I’m sad to make me double sad

👍 this is good · read the comments · 183 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 17, 2013 4:27pm UTC

Things to say/do to a telemarker;
"I'm blind, could you repeat that?"
(Speak with perfect English) "I don't speak English, sorry!"
Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" Then hang up.
"My grandma fell off a cliff last week, don't you even care?!" Then hang up.
Act real interested, then at then end tell them no thanks and hang up.
Try to sell THEM something.
Pick up the phone and say "It's completed, but there's blood everywhere."
"Hello, this is the local spe.rm bank. You jack it we pack it! How may we help you?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 28, 2013 9:04pm UTC

i'm sorry if i've ever told you the same story twice. it's just that i don't have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 190 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
August 21, 2013 10:48am UTC

but the real question is has nemo found himself
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 192 points

bye*
posted a quote
August 14, 2013 4:55pm UTC

the problem with blue eye shadow is that people wear it

👍 this is good · read the comments · 198 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
September 2, 2013 7:04pm UTC

Imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s. Abe Lincoln tweeting stuff like,
"This play sucks. Someone shoot me."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 190 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 8, 2013 2:32pm UTC

If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
August 12, 2013 4:38pm UTC

I'm not even a 2nd choice
I'm like an 8th choice sometimes a 10th

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 2:16pm UTC

can boys like stop having skinner legs than me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 215 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:19pm UTC

how do mermaids have babies
why didn’t tarzan have a beard
why didn’t aladdin have nipples

👍 this is good · read the comments · 223 points

happiest*
posted a quote
February 10, 2014 3:42pm UTC

ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE
I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE
TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS

👍 this is good · read the comments · 259 points

happiest*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 2:44pm UTC

it has been 16 years and i still don’t know what to do with my hands during pictures

👍 this is good · read the comments · 222 points

happiest*
posted a quote
September 12, 2013 3:28pm UTC

my grandma put a little piece of her birthday cake in the garbage can and i was like why the heck did you do that and she said “it’s important to leave some for the raccoons because what if it’s a raccoon’s birthday and no one remembers??”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 222 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 22, 2013 4:09pm UTC

"why are you awake at three in the morning" asks the person who is also awake at three in the morning

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 216 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
September 23, 2013 6:22pm UTC

A Dairy Queen employee witnessed a blind customer
drop a $20 bill and a woman picked it up and placed
it in her purse. The employee politely asked her to give it
back and when she refused, he asked her to leave the
restaurant. The employee then took a $20 bill out of
his own wallet and gave it to the man.
Ladies and gentlemen, there is hope for the human race.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 236 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 10, 2013 9:18pm UTC

when you think the gif is frozen and
you stare at it for like five minutes and you're like oh that's just a picture

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 222 points

Witty Profiles

hailstorm37