andshedances's Favorites

andshedances

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 6:03pm UTC

Argument I heard on the bus:
Guy 1: No, man, gay bros can raise babies. Look at warthog motherf//cker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And Simba became king of motherf//cking Africa.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 659 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 749 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 3, 2013 4:56pm UTC

next time you're washing your hands next to
somebody, cup your hands under the tap water until the water overflows, then look at them dramatically and say "this water is getting out of hand." it's a guaranteed way to make friends. i have never tried it, but it's guaranteed.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 920 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 6:20pm UTC

i'm seriously considering filling my pockets with
glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude, i'll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and realease the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1462 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 1:40pm UTC

things i never learned in high school:
- how to do taxes
- what taxes are
- how to vote
- what politics are
- how to write a reusme/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
- how to write a check/balance a check book
- anything to do with banking
- how to do loans for college
- how to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
- how to buy a house or a car
but boy am i f/cking glad that i know the pythagorean theorm.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 945 points

pokoro
posted a quote
October 30, 2012 3:23pm UTC

People not on east coast: Holy crap HURRICANE SANDY DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOMES STOCK UP ON WATER AND PLEASE GIVE US UPDATES ON WHAT'S HAPPENING THIS IS A HUGE STORM BE PREPARED GET FLASHLIGHTS AND LEARN HOW TO LIGHT A FIRE AND HAVE 911 ON SPEED DIAL ALSO KEEP A LIFERAFT NEARBY ANDMAYBE SOME LIFE JACKETS OR JUST BUY A BOAT JUST IN CASE BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY
PEOPLE ON EAST COAST: lol does anyone want to come over I'm bored and it's raining like a bîtch out there

👍 this is good · read the comments · 780 points

beachbabe7
posted a quote
October 30, 2012 3:07pm UTC

Hurricane Katrina
Let me tell you something about Sandy. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrasing. I don't even...whatever. So then in eigth grade, Irene hit, and Sandy was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would rate her a 1, and then I'd rate Irene a 3, she'd be like, "Why am I rated me so low?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-category 3 and up party, I was like, "Sandy, I can't invite you, because you're category 1." I mean I couldn't have a category 1 at my party. There were gonna be storms wipping out entire cities there. I mean, right? She was a CATEGORY 1. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in October, and now I guess she's destoying the entire East Coast.
Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1248 points

Serotonin
posted a quote
October 10, 2012 2:17pm UTC

Imagine a library filled with every book in the world, none of them have titles on the cover and the pages are blank, but when you open one you are instantly transported to the world within the book. You get to live the story as any character for as long as you like. And when you come out of the story, almost no time has past in the real world.
nmq/tumblr

👍 this is good · read the comments · 338 points

kayybeee18
posted a quote
October 12, 2012 3:46pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
Screw Obama & Romney
I'm voting for Cady Heron because she pushed Regina George in front of a bus.
-Nmf (;

👍 this is good · read the comments · 521 points

carson5482
posted a quote
October 9, 2012 6:23pm UTC

Let me tell you something about Mitt Romney...
We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever.
So, in 8th grade, I started hanging out with the current president, Obama, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to D.C, and Mitt was like, weirdly jealous of him.
Like, if I would blow him off to listen to Obama speak, he'd be like, "Why don't you support my ideas?"
And I'd be like "Why are so ignorant of America's needs?
So then for my birthday party, which was an all Democrats pool party, I was like "Mitt, I can't invite you because I think you're a republican."
I mean, I couldn't have a republican at my party. There were going to be Democrats there with their human rights, I mean right?
He was a REPUBLICAN!
So then his mom called my mom and they started yelling at each other, it was ridiculous.
And then he dropped out of politics because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for the presidential election, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird...
And now I guess he's trying to make airplane windows roll down.
Follow for a follow<3
NMQ/NMF

👍 this is good · read the comments · 492 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 297 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
September 26, 2012 4:15pm UTC

Too old to do kid things but too young to be an adult.
Being a teenager is hard.
{ >>They don't give us enough credit<< }
format by landoniswitty

👍 this is good · read the comments · 472 points

Peace1231
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 11:29am UTC

Crush
Who's that guy that hurt you? I swear I'll kill him.
Suicide is a horrible thing.
nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 697 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 5:17am UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 724 points

Peace1231
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 11:19am UTC

Kaitlyn Marie
Gay marriage is now legal in New York? What has the world come too? BEING GAY IS A SIN.
24 minutes ago • Like • Comment
2 people like this
Emily
So is premarital s/ex but I'm sure you've f/ucked half of the guys in our school. Practice what you preach.
17 minutes ago · Unlike · 45 people
BURRRRRRRN
& true story

👍 this is good · read the comments · 758 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
September 4, 2012 5:27pm UTC

I'm not even on drugs, I'm just weird.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1136 points

yayrey
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 12:12pm UTC

▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧
Singing a song you used to sing a lot as a kid
and suddenly
understanding the lyrics
▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧▥▨▤▧
Format by Yayrey

👍 this is good · read the comments · 783 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
August 31, 2012 9:40am UTC

Me: I don't have any classes with anyone I know.My Parents: That's how you make friends!Me: No.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 826 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
September 2, 2012 8:51am UTC

Person: Stop apologizing.Me: Sorry.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1035 points

Iluvudaniella
posted a quote
September 2, 2012 12:53pm UTC

A teacher asked her students how to be polite & tell a girl he has to use the bathroom at a dinner table.
The 1st boy said: Excuse me I have to pee.
The 2nd boy said: May I leave to go to the bathroom?
The 3rd boy said: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.
The teacher fainted.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1131 points

Witty Profiles

andshedances