TheWombatBoy's Favorites

TheWombatBoy

forever_mine_123
posted a quote
September 2, 2012 11:42pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 743 points

Ash_leigh*
posted a quote
September 7, 2012 4:25pm UTC

Today he rejected me.
I finally went up to him and started talking, just about regular stuff.
He wasn't really paying attention to me, and I could tell he was more interested in the food in front of him than he was in me.
I've spent every day with him for at least a year.
my dog can be so dissmissive.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 770 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
September 24, 2012 8:16pm UTC

Nothing is impossible?
Imagine a new color.
I Dare you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 840 points

yourcool
posted a quote
September 21, 2012 5:31pm UTC

We all have that friend that
acts innocent, but is actually very naughty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 814 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
September 11, 2012 2:47pm UTC

Today I accidentally wore my moms crocs to school. YES MY MOM HAS CROCS. DON'T JUDGE HER FOR IT I realized it and I took my shoes off and walked around school in my socks The principal told me to put my shoes back on or get suspended Guess who got sent home early today?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 808 points

itsamadworld
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 4:36pm UTC

You're ten and you wear a pushup bra.
The only boobs I had when I was ten were Drake and Josh.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 907 points

horsechick818
posted a quote
September 3, 2012 3:48pm UTC

PLEASE READ!
My older sister and I wanted to go see an r-rated movie the other day.
But we were babysitting our 2 year old sister.
So my older sister walked into the movie theater,
with our 2 year old sister hiding in her over-sized sweatshirt.
One of the guys selling tickets said "ma'am whats in your shirt?"
My sister smacked him in the face and replied,
"Why the hell are you looking at my boobs!?"
The guy said "No your stomache!"
My sister hit him again and said,
"Why are you staring at my stomache? Do you think i'm fat or something!? Not everyone is a supermodle! i have never been more offended in my life!"
We got our tickets for free and no one else noticed that the baby was in her shirt....
My life is now complete

👍 this is good · read the comments · 804 points

quiffjumping
posted a quote
September 7, 2012 6:45pm UTC

what if
for every minute you were on the internet, you burned 10 calories.
i'd be a supermodel.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 846 points

Chloe149
posted a quote
September 7, 2012 2:52pm UTC

Two Girls wearing the same shirt:
She copied my style!
Two Guys wearing the same shirt:
BRO!!!
Format: twilightgirl995 lolsotrue.com

👍 this is good · read the comments · 847 points

Ineedmakyinme
posted a quote
September 27, 2012 3:30pm UTC

Dear 'boyfriend';
Application For Permission To Date My Daughter
Note: Please be prepared to submit additional information e.g. psychological profile, DNA samples and admission to polygraph exam.
1. Name:______________________________________ Date of Birth __/__/____
2.Height: __ft__in. Weight: ___Lbs. I.Q: __ GPA: __
3.Social Security Number: ___-___-____ Drivers License: State: _______ Number: _____________
4.Home address____________________ City: _____________ State_____
5: Boy Scout Rank: _________________
6.How fast can you run 40 yards: ____sec. Two Miles: ___min.
7.Church you attend: ___________________ How Often? _____________________
8.In 50 words or less, Explan what "DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" means to you:
_____________________________________________________________________________________.
9. In 50 words or less, Explain what "Late" means to you:
____________________________________________________________________________________.
10. Complete the following sentences:
a) If I were to be shot, the last place I would want to be shot is in the __________.
b) If I were to be beaten, the last bone I would want to have broken is ___________.
c) The one thing I hope this Application does not as is________________________________________.
d) In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like my ashes scattered ___________________.
e)My greatest fear is____________________________.
11. What do you want me be if you grow up?_________________________________________.
12.How you ever been fingerprinted? Yes___ No___
13. Do you have any identifying marks? e.g. birth marks,scars, tattoos Yes___ No___
14.My dentist is __________________________________ City:_______________ State:______________
I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of Deah and or Dismemberment.
Signed:____________________________________
Thank you for your interest! Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not call, write or E-mail. Any attempts at contact during the processing of this application could be hazardous to your health and/or cause serious personal injury.
Sincerely,
Daddy's Orders

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1169 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
September 21, 2012 2:42pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
I really hate it when
I say something funny, then someone else says it louder and gets the credit.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 890 points

yourcool
posted a quote
September 4, 2012 12:44am UTC

90% of ocean remains unexplored and
you're telling me mermaids don't exist? f/ck you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 845 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
September 8, 2012 3:23pm UTC

"hey remember when you liked -"
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

👍 this is good · read the comments · 933 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 4:35pm UTC

"Hi. I'm Austin & I'm 11 years old
I'n taken by my gffff Amanda.
9.24.12 shes my everything<3333
but I still flirt with all the girls in my clas. shhh ;)
I go to parties every satarday .
but party at church on sunday!
I luvv jesus but I think I might be atheist.
I'm bisexual but I'd never touch a boy.
I'm prolife but my gurlfriend is pregnant.
She's having an abortion."
...... What did I just read?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1059 points

prplesockerninja22
posted a quote
September 12, 2012 4:46pm UTC

*when I hold doors for people**
Kids: ...
Teenagers: Thanks.
Adults: Thank you.
Old People: WHY, THANK YOU. YOU'RE SO KIND. EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS YOUNG MAN HELPING OUT THE COMMUNITY. WHOO, THIS GENERATION IS SO POLITE AND KIND. I WOULD PLAY BINGO WITH THIS YOUNG MAN ANY DAY. GOD BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL.
just gotta love 'em.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1029 points

MondayHater*
posted a quote
September 3, 2012 11:08am UTC

Me:It was a rainy night,we had no electricity,you were lost,you went into a haunted house and there were 2 stairs,the right and the left...which one did you take?
Friend:Uh...left
Me:so you went upstrairs and found 4 doors,which one of them would you go in?
Friend:The first one.
Me:You go in and find yourself in a hallway with 2 bedrooms,a grand masteroom or an apartment size room,which one do you go in?
Friend:Grand masteroom...
Me:Okay,you go in and see 2 bathrooms,a white one and a bla ck one,which one do you go in?
Fiend:White one.
Me:A murderer has locked you in..you have to chose which way to die,jump out the window,or sit in an electricity chair.
Friend:Umm,jump out the window?
ME:Too bad..you just died...you could have picken the electricity chair,there is no electricity...
Friend:.......

👍 this is good · read the comments · 964 points

emosexy
posted a quote
September 15, 2012 3:37pm UTC

9966699999966699999966699966669996699999996699666996699 9966999999996999999996666996699666699666996699666996699 9966699999999999999966666699996666699666996699666996699 9966666999999999999666666669966666699666996699666996699 9966666669999999966666666669966666699666996699666996699 9966666666699996666666666669966666699666996699666996699 9966666666669966666666666669966666699999996699999996699
1) press the fave button
2) highlight the numbers
3) press Ctrl and f
4) press 99 and see what happenes :P

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1102 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
September 14, 2012 2:42pm UTC

Wanna hear what would be extremely terrifying?
If you walked into class late and your Witty was up on the projector

👍 this is good · read the comments · 994 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
September 2, 2012 8:51am UTC

Person: Stop apologizing.Me: Sorry.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1035 points

Iluvudaniella
posted a quote
September 2, 2012 12:53pm UTC

A teacher asked her students how to be polite & tell a girl he has to use the bathroom at a dinner table.
The 1st boy said: Excuse me I have to pee.
The 2nd boy said: May I leave to go to the bathroom?
The 3rd boy said: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.
The teacher fainted.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1131 points

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TheWombatBoy