Witty Profiles

SlowlySinking

1. theWalrus
   posted a quote
   March 8, 2014 12:56am UTC
   Things I look for in a soulmate:
   1) He has to be taller than me
   2) You have to be able to match me in an eating contest
   3) That's pretty much it
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
2. theWalrus
   posted a quote
   April 10, 2014 8:52pm UTC
   Guys today I ate 3500 calories and lost 2 pounds
   I think satan himself has damned my stomach as the deepest pit in all of hell
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
3. seafoam*
   posted a quote
   April 10, 2014 9:05pm UTC
   I HOPE YOU STILL FEEL SMALL WHEN YOU STAND BESIDE
   the ocean.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 21 points
4. capsized*
   posted a quote
   April 4, 2014 1:15pm UTC
   narrowing down my “type” of guy is really hard because one second i’ll see a guy that’s clean shåven in a button down with the sleeves rolled and be like WHOA and the next i’ll see a guy with a full sleeve beanie and scruff and be like WHOA
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 68 points
5. *crybaby*
   posted a quote
   February 18, 2014 12:27am UTC
   old TV shows with real audiences and not canned laughter are the best
   because when the joke is REALLY good you can hear that one person in the audience just DYING
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 62 points
6. Amenah
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2014 5:52pm UTC
   Growing up is understanding the faults in your parents.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 51 points
7. capsized*
   posted a quote
   February 13, 2014 3:44pm UTC
   I don’t know how some girls are 100% straight
   like have you seen girls?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 55 points
8. flyingbacon7
   posted a quote
   February 17, 2014 9:34pm UTC
   Somedays I'm the girl
   walking confidently through the halls
   Somedays I'm the girl
   Hiding behind my baggy clothes
   Somedays I'm the girl
   Who talks non stop
   Somedays I'm the girl who says nothing at all
   Somedays I'm the girl who loves
   to eat everything
   Somedays I'm the girl
   who isn't hungry at all
   Somedays I'm the girl
   Who jokes around
   Somedays I'm the girl
   Who is emotionless
   Somedays I'm the girl
   Who loves helping other
   And somedays
   I'm the girl who needs help
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 74 points
9. mads*
   posted a quote
   February 13, 2014 10:04am UTC
   could u please put ur crying kid on vibrate
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 69 points
10. *blushes*
    posted a quote
    February 16, 2014 12:03pm UTC
    who do you like?
    4:11am
    no one.
    4:11am
    OH, who do you like?
    4:12am
    no one!
    4:12am
    who do you like?
    4:13am
    how many times are you
    going to ask that?
    4:14am
    as many times as it
    takes for you to say
    my name.
    4:14am
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 97 points
11. Sophie*
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2014 8:08am UTC
    Me:Mom...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on.
    Parents:Ok, cool.
    Me:Your luggage is outside
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 91 points
12. imperfect *
    posted a quote
    February 15, 2014 11:28am UTC
    You go to school nothing happens
    You miss one day:7 fights, 3 teachers missing,
    school had a blackout and rihanna performed in the cafeteria.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 98 points
13. gab*
    posted a quote
    February 15, 2014 6:55pm UTC
    i'm still very uncomfortable over the fact that 2007 was 7 years ago
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 114 points
14. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2014 10:17am UTC
    jesus: mom I told you I didn't want a big party
    mary: THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CELEBRATE EVERY YEAR
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points
15. _Jannette
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2014 11:25am UTC
    why is it that like 99.9% of girls look
    thin and cute in over sized shirts
    but I look like a beanbag
    © Jannette's format
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 131 points
16. † *
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2014 7:14pm UTC
    Some of these 11 and 12 year olds be talking about ' I need a man who..'
    No, you just need to do your homework.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 159 points
17. happiest*
    posted a quote
    February 15, 2014 4:28pm UTC
    English teachers can either be the coolest teacher you ever had or the worst thing ever
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 175 points
18. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 82 points
19. *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    January 21, 2014 11:26am UTC
    At least I never went through the "Rawr means I love you in dinosaur" phase
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 79 points
20. happiest*
    posted a quote
    May 11, 2013 1:53pm UTC
    it sucks having a beautiful bestfriend.
    she's perfect. all the guys love her,
    and you're just you.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 512 points

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