SleepTheRealityAway's Favorites

zombiesrule2
posted a quote
December 12, 2014 9:00pm UTC

So you're the type of guy who breaks promises. Well bye then

👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points

^_^*
posted a quote
November 22, 2013 2:21pm UTC

if i stay in bed i’ll be warm
if i get in the shower i’ll also be warm
but the distance between the bed and the shower
that is not warm

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 94 points

Jordan.*
posted a quote
January 5, 2014 1:52am UTC

Ultimately,
I just want
someone
who knows
what songs
not to talk
over.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 116 points

Cammie
posted a quote
January 29, 2014 9:31pm UTC

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 107 points

Fay*
posted a quote
December 7, 2013 11:23am UTC

oversized hoodies
you think they're clothes
but they're actully wearable hugs

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 125 points

iLL-Legal Alien👽*
posted a quote
November 23, 2013 8:04pm UTC

What does Miley Cyrus eat for
Thanksgiving?
Twerkey.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 136 points

Jordan.*
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 4:58pm UTC

Hearts are wild creatures,
that's why our ribs are cages.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 136 points

capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 10:09pm UTC

the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning

👍 this is good · read the comments · 165 points

happiest*
posted a quote
January 11, 2014 2:43pm UTC

this one time a girl told me we had the same name and I asked her what hers was

👍 this is good · read the comments · 176 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 29, 2013 12:23am UTC

One time I forgot what a feather was called so I called it a “bird leaf”

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 188 points

happiest*
posted a quote
January 11, 2014 2:38pm UTC

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

👍 this is good · read the comments · 189 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 7:15pm UTC

English class today
Teacher: Based off of these essays we need to have a basic grammar lesson.
Teacher: Which one sounds right? 'I run good' or 'I run well' ?
Teacher: Anybody? Fine.
Teacher: Charlie.
Me:
Me:
Me: I don't run at all.
Teacher: Go sit in the corner.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 202 points

happiest*
posted a quote
December 21, 2013 3:24pm UTC

Today my dad was singing Christmas carols in the kitchen
Dad:He knows how long you sleep in
Dad:He knows that you've been baked
Dad:He knows you spend all day online so you better hope your grandma gets you something nice because Santa is done with your sh-t

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 212 points

happiest*
posted a quote
February 10, 2014 3:42pm UTC

ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE
I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE
TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS

👍 this is good · read the comments · 259 points

happiest*
posted a quote
December 24, 2013 2:45pm UTC

This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled

👍 this is good · read the comments · 330 points

mynameBSarah
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 2:09pm UTC

It's my birthday! Yay! :)

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mynameBSarah
posted a quote
May 1, 2014 7:57pm UTC

_______________________________________________
|
|
You are not fat
You have fat
You also have fingernails
You are not fingernail
|
|
_______________________________________________

👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

Lil_lamb
posted a quote
November 2, 2014 9:58pm UTC

how to stop time: kiss
how to travel in time: read
how to escape time: music
how to feel time: write
how to waste time: social media

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

dunner*
posted a quote
August 19, 2014 6:59am UTC

I know my singing skills are horrible but a Disney song is coming up. You better settle down and cover your earss because sure as heck,
I'm belting this motherf*cker.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Youngblood
posted a quote
August 20, 2014 9:34am UTC

Do I wanna know
if this feeling flows both ways?
Arctic monkeys

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

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