Serotonin's Favorites

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 13, 2013 10:11pm UTC

Friend: What sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Friend: Whichever one your parents used!
Me: My parents had me in vitro, so...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 43 points

jane :-)*
posted a quote
August 13, 2013 11:48pm UTC

DON'T
LET
IT
GETCHA
DOWN
☺

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

AnaCastro196
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 9:06pm UTC

I hate when I compliment a girl and tell her she's beautiful
and then she's like "No i'm not."
Take the damn compliment.
Wtf do you want me to tell you your ugly as hell?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 27 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 4:39pm UTC

Self-Checkout in Grocery Store: Place item in bagging area.
Me: *Places item in bagging area*
Self-Checkout in Grocery Store: Unexpected item in bagging area.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 125 points

mollifers123
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 3:52pm UTC

Boobytrap backwards is partyboob. Carry on.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 95 points

yourcool
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 12:58am UTC

i don't even h8 u i h9 u

👍 this is good · read the comments · 44 points

yourcool
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 12:54am UTC

imagine if simon cowell was your dad and
you were singing in the shower and he knocked on the door and said "it's a no from me".

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 57 points

x_damaged_x
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 10:54am UTC

*Accidentally bumps in to you*
" O h , I ' m s o s o r r y ! "
*Accidentally holds your hand*
" W h o o p s , s o r r y a g a i n ! "
*Accidentally kisses you*
" W o w , c l u m s y m e ! "

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 93 points

kelly*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 1:57am UTC

Cinderella walked on BROKEN GLASS
Aurora let a whole lifetime pass
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast
JASMINE MARRIED A common thief
Ariel walked on land FOR LOVE
Snow White barely escaped a knife
Because love means facing
YOUR BIGGEST FEARS

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 44 points

yourcool
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 12:45am UTC

I wanna do bad things to you ;)
like break your fcking neck

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 63 points

yourcool
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 1:09am UTC

I want a friend with benefits
(dental and medical insurance, 401k retirement plan, etc.)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 53 points

daniigee
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 8:56pm UTC

today I tried to wink at someone but I got an eyelash in my eye and started crying and I think that says a lot about me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 53 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 10:06pm UTC

Shìt girls like:
Forehead kisses
Good morning texts
Being called beautiful
When you show them off
Cute, thoughtful dates
Watching the sunset
When guys apologize
Having their face eaten off by monkeys
Being stabbed in the throat
Eating moldy cheese
Rubbing their face in poop

👍 this is good · read the comments · 57 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 3:53pm UTC

don’t talk to strangers on the internet because they’re great and hot and funny and live miles away and highlight the lack of people in your daily life that you can tolerate

👍 this is good · read the comments · 188 points

yourcool
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 1:23am UTC

you should never stare directly at
the sun because staring is just plain rude

👍 this is good · read the comments · 133 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 8:01pm UTC

Walk into the club like
"No free Wifi? K bye."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 128 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 2:23pm UTC

great im 18 now lets see if this swearing is ok now
Me : poop
*police sirens*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 121 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 2:34pm UTC

my dad called me weird so i was like “hey you made me though" and he just hissed “i made a mistake”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 227 points

kristabff
posted a quote
August 9, 2013 8:29pm UTC

And to think that there are species
of animals struggling to survive and continue their race, we are telling our own species to kill themselves. Absolutely horrid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 146 points

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