.*'s Favorites

flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 9:48am UTC

I have a serious question
Does anyone else not like water?
I can't stand it plus i get sick from it so if anyone else feels the same way about water they should tell me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 25 points

softballxwin27
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 4:55pm UTC

I overheard my Ex on the
phone saying he's being stalked.
I think he's imagining it, I follow him home
every night and I've never seen anyone.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 480 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 3:15pm UTC

Me: Mom, everyone's going.
Mom: Be a leader, not a follower.
Me:
Mom:
Me: Fine.
Me: I'll just lead myself into the kitchen and get some food.
Me: And then I'll lead myself to the computer and sit there for hours.
Me: I'm going to start a new trend called "let's get fat and be internet addicts."
Me: Cause I'm a leader, not a follower.
Mom:
Me:
Obama:
Your mom:
Honey Boo Boo:
Channing Tatum: You're hot.
Me: What?
Mom: What?
Channing Tatum: Can you please lead yourself into my bedroom?
Me:
Mom:
Channing Tatum:
Me: This is me being a uh leader and uh leading myself into Channing Tatum's bedroom and never coming out.
Me: Cause remember? I'm a leader, not a follower.
True story.
Okay, maybe the last part didn't happen, but we all know he was thinking it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 481 points

sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 5:04pm UTC

Today a guy in my class told us that he's gay and wanted everyone to know because that's who he is.
My teacher nodded and told us that if we had any other personal news to share, we should do it now...
And this really quiet kid stood up, announced he was sexually attracted to owls, and then sat down.
We aren't allowed to share personal things in class anymore.
*tumblr*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 617 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 3:52pm UTC

i am the uneven drawstring
on the hoodie of life
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 463 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 3:54pm UTC

went to my old coach's funeral today.
i leaned over his casket and said, "walk it off you little b/tch."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 541 points

meh*
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 10:06am UTC

So Last Week..
There was this new girl at my school,
and she was sitting alone and I bad so I went and sat with her.
I wanted to be nice so I told some jokes from Witty. The entire time she just stared at me. Then finally, she leaned over and whispered
"You're a Wittian."
since last week we've been BFFs just like that. ;)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 708 points

happiest*
posted a quote
January 19, 2013 5:21pm UTC

Witty: Don't cha wish your users were hot like mine
Witty: Don't cha wish your users were always online
Witty: DON'T CHA
Facebook: Stop. This isn't funny anymore.
Witty: DON'T CHA

👍 this is good · read the comments · 650 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 5:57pm UTC

the person who invented marriage was creepy:
"hey, i love you so much, i'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1125 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 6:20pm UTC

i'm seriously considering filling my pockets with
glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude, i'll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and realease the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1462 points

XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 5:18pm UTC

Box of chocolates: $10
Flowers: $20
Dinner and a movie: $40
Keeping your $70 on Valentine's day because you're single: Priceless

👍 this is good · read the comments · 513 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 242 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 3:31pm UTC

i still can't work out how the majority of the teenage girl population manages to look good wearing a big woolen sweater with a messy bun.
when i wear that, i look like i died and someone dragged me out of the grave and back into the living world by my hair.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 536 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 2:53pm UTC

You know that quiet girl in class?
Yeah, she goes home and makes fun of all of you on Witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1095 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
January 8, 2013 7:01pm UTC

I am a Wittian
Nutella taste good on anything . No one will watch Mean Girls with me because I quote the whole thing . I sit at home on Friday nights scrolling through quotes rather than being with friends . I am hopelessly in love with someone who will never notice me in that way. I watch cartoons. Sweatpants and sweatshirts are the only things I wear when I'm home. Finding Nemo is a thriller that inspires me. I will grow old with 69 cats. Coloring will always be my favorite activity. I will always always hate my body. I will always miss the old Disney shows. I will never watch the new Disney shows. I will always think I hear my phone vibrate when it doesn't. I will always spend hours scrolling through quotes. I've always wanted to have a big Wittians sleepover. I trust the people I meet on here more than people in my school. I pour my heart out in these quotes because I know you guys won't judge me. I'll never be to old to play with play doh I have literally bawled reading some quotes And couldn't I stop laughing reading others.
I am a Wittian.
And that is forever.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points

Infinity on high*
posted a quote
January 8, 2013 10:05pm UTC

One day, a man jumped
>>off the Golden Gate Bridge.<<
When the police went searching through his house afterwards,
[they found a note.]
'Today I will walk to the bridge.
If anyone smiles at me, I won't jump.'
I make a point to smile at everyone now.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 212 points

randi*
posted a quote
January 8, 2013 9:03pm UTC

Beliebers when Mitch Lucker died: he deserved it. I bet he cut himself, that nasty emo. Her daughter should kill herself too, if she misses him so much.
Beliebers when Justin Bieber smokes weed: omg let's become total hypocrites and cut ourselves for attention when smoking pot is the most normal thing to do on the face of the earth.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 258 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 8, 2013 6:13pm UTC

imagine
if one day you woke up
and you had a third eye
on your forehead and you
checked the news and
literally everyone on
earth suddenly had a
third eye no one
could figure out the
explanation everyone
just randomly grew a third eye
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 267 points

.joyriding.*
posted a quote
January 9, 2013 11:13am UTC

"Shut up, or I will brake your face."
- My geography teacher

👍 this is good · read the comments · 117 points

Carly Natasha*
posted a quote
January 9, 2013 3:43pm UTC

thigh gap
thigh ga
thigh g
thigh
thig
thi
th
t
th
thr
thre
three
three s
three sl
three sli
three slic
three slice
three slices
three slices o
three slices of
three slices of p
three slices of pi
three slives of piz
three slices of pizz
three slices of pizza

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

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