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LuckyDuckyyGurliee77

xoDazzleKittyxo
posted a quote
June 11, 2009 6:26pm UTC

&+ Honestly i think it would be hilarious if
the Lays potato chip company's slogan was
"Get Layed"
hahaha get it? i really
don't know how i came up with this.
i just was watching TV and a lays commercial
came on and...
WALLLA!

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SAAMxrawrr
posted a quote
February 21, 2009 10:18am UTC

aims great;;
because when you wanna take
something back, you can just
say, "sorry that was my cousin."

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elliexo24
posted a quote
March 13, 2009 7:59pm UTC

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breaakouutx3
posted a quote
July 2, 2009 12:58pm UTC

o k a y s o l a s t n i g h t ; ;
my mom walks over to my dad, who is sitting on the couch, and she goes
''can you please un-cross your legs?
y o u l o o k l i k e a f a g . ''
i bursted out laughing,
and all i could say was 'wooow i love you, mom!'
rate high if you liiiike(:
all credit to me... and some to my mom.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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xSoundtrackofMySummerx
posted a quote
August 6, 2009 1:49pm UTC

Zoey 101 (:
Michael: There's a bug in my tent!
Chase: Well, kill it!
Michael: No! What if it has a family?!
Chase: It's a BUG.
Michael: Bugs have families!
Chase: Well maybe it's a really mean bug that none of the other bugs like and by killing it, you'll be a hero to them all.

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laurennn
posted a quote
March 25, 2009 6:57pm UTC

I'm the type of girl who...
Thinks dirty thoughts but then stops to think something good
because I'm scared someone can secretly read my mind

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karatemonkeyy95
posted a quote
February 17, 2009 9:31am UTC

*Riddle of the Day*
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on [[ 3 ]].
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
The answer is: 'A Last Name.'
Rate high if you thought it would be a dirty joke :)

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XoGummyBear136Xo
posted a quote
July 22, 2009 4:22pm UTC

Today my computer was being slow,So i said;
[Stupid Computer]under my breath. It then [stopped]
loading, so I said sorry, and it started loading again. i felt
like my computer accepted my apology, and we were [friends] again...
MLIA.<3

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live_x_life
posted a quote
January 30, 2009 5:38pm UTC

The Over-Protective Dad Joke
There once was a farmer who was incredibly protective of his 3 precious daughters. His 3 daughters were all going on a date on the same night. The farmer would hold his gun as he answered the door, just so the boys would know who's boss.
When the first boy came to the door, he greeted the dad and said, "Hi, my name's Joe. I'm here for Flo. Were going to a show. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer nodded and the couple went on their way. There was another knock at the door, and another boy answered. "Hi, my name's Freddy, I'm here for Betty. We'll go get spaghetti. Is she ready?"
The farmer nodded and once again the two want on their way. The last boy walked in and said:
"Hi, my name's Chuck."
and the farmer shot him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
rate high if you got it.

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XxitsxmexbexjealousxX
posted a quote
March 21, 2009 3:57pm UTC

How to call the police:
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(True Story) I LOVE IT...

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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xoSoniaxox04
posted a quote
July 4, 2009 8:30pm UTC

I asked the lady at Burger King
for 3 things of barbecue sauce. She said she could only give me 2.
I did not have it my way.
liked itt.. *

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emt825
posted a quote
August 3, 2009 7:29pm UTC

8 websites you should visit:
1. Whorepresents
A site called Who Represents where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name wait for it is www.whorepresents.com.
2. Expertsexchange
Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com.
3. Penisland
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net.
4. Therapistfinder
Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com.
5. Powergenitalia
Then of course, theres the Italian Power Generator company www.powergenitalia.com.
6. Molestationnursery
And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com.
7. Speedofart
Then, of course, theres these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com.
8. Gotahoe
Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com.

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thecooliest
posted a quote
March 27, 2009 9:59pm UTC

it’s okay waldo;
i ' m t r y i n g t o f i n d m y s e l f , t o o .
credit to perfectly_imperfect
credit for edit

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rememberthename18
posted a quote
August 6, 2009 10:21pm UTC

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
February 8, 2009 12:41am UTC

Labor Pain
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
But when they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.
:) rate high if you get it, if not, look at the words in blue bold....

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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omgshutup
posted a quote
February 21, 2009 2:52pm UTC

Funny Instruction Labels
These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this..)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

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LucyChanDesu
posted a quote
July 15, 2009 10:53am UTC

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