hellogoodbye57

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Member Since: 11 Nov 2008 09:00pm

Last Seen: 16 Aug 2011 05:49pm

user id: 57629

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hello my witty friends....
im angie and I live in california.
i luv rock band, macaroni & cheese, hellogoodbye, art, and basketball.
i am going to take a break from witty since i dont really like the new format and all the new quotes seem to be in the cheesy love category....but please enjoy my quotes
have an awesome day and 2009!

hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
February 11, 2009 11:03pm UTC

GOD
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks,
"Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds,
"Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks,
"Is God black or white?"
His mother frowns at her boy's questions.
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
The mother is getting concerned, but answers anyway, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks,
"Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?"

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
February 8, 2009 12:41am UTC

Labor Pain
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
But when they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.
:) rate high if you get it, if not, look at the words in blue bold....

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
February 7, 2009 7:59pm UTC

THUMB SUCKING
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb,
though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it
with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son,
"If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up
like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and
son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old
considered her gravely for a minute, then said loudly to her,
"Uh-oh, lady... I know what you've been doing."

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
January 29, 2009 12:46am UTC

The World’s Funniest Real Ads
Believe it or not,
these ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.
Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.
Four-year old teacher needed for pre-school.
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.
Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.
Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.
Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
Open house body shapers toning salon, free coffee and donuts.
Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.
Snow Blower for sale…can only used on snowy days.
Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."
Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.
1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.
Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
January 28, 2009 9:45pm UTC

Doesn't life suck
when you think a really cute guy likes you
but it turns out he has a crush on your best friend?

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
January 9, 2009 11:26pm UTC

Isn't it weird
how this guy at my school was totally ignored by girls
until the twilight movie came out
and all of a sudden they started noticing him?
Well I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact
that he is named Edward Collins....
haha true story. I don't think he knows what hit him! :D

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
January 1, 2009 3:08pm UTC

Am I the only one
who comes home from long vacations
and the house is empty and dark
and is afraid to be the first one to go upstairs
cause I think there might be someone up there?
didn't know where to put it. think i might be paranoid but this always happens to me!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 31, 2008 2:48pm UTC

15 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN AN ELEVATOR
1. Grin at another passenger and then announce, "I've got new socks on."
2. Crash from side to side as if you're sailing rough seas.
3. Suggest you all join in a sing-along. If no one agrees, sing loudly and out of tune by yourself.
4. At each floor sing, "Ding, dong, the witch is dead!"
5. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up. Then scream, "Thats mine!"
6. Salute and say, "Welcome aboard," every time someone gets in.
7. Open your bag and, while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
8. When the elevator doors close, bang on them and scream "LET ME OUT!"
9. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off when the elevator stops.
10. Smile and call out, "GROUP HUG!" and then enforce it.
11. Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and pretend to bite at anyone's fingers who tries to press a button.
12. Hold a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it and say, "I wonder why this was glued to the door when I came in."
13. Demonstrate yoga poses that take up a huge amount of room and then ask if they want to try.
14. Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear ticking.
15. Announce, "It's raining!" and open up a large umbrella.
got most of it from The Girl's Book: How To Be the Best At Everything and my friend's aim profile, but added a few of my own. rate high if you now want to try one of these things!

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 31, 2008 1:34am UTC

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme,
others don't.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 29, 2008 9:08pm UTC

Sometimes I wish i had SUPERPOWERS.
The ability to freeze time so our first date would last forever.
Seeing into the future so I could tell how long our love would last.
Mind-reading so I knew what you were thinking when you started acting strangely.
Superspeed so I could run away when you were arguing with me.
Invisibility so I could disappear when you broke up with me.
Indestructibility so my heart wouldn't break when you went out with that other girl.
Time-travel so we could go back to the way we were before.
all mine.
rate it or hate it, just don't jock it. :D

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 29, 2008 1:58am UTC

PERFECT NAMES FOR ANY OCCASION....
YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(first pet + current car)
YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME:
(“The” + your favorite hobby/craft + favorite weather element + “Tour”)
YOUR COUNTRY MUSIC STAR NAME:
(first name of famous actress/actor + favorite month)
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color + favorite animal)
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name + city where you were born)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first three letters of your last name + first two letters of your first)
SUPERHERO NAME:
(“The” + second favorite color + favorite drink)
NASCAR NAME:
(the first names of your grandfathers)
STRIPPER NAME:
(the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent + favorite candy)
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(mother’s and father’s middle names )
TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME:
(Your fifth grade teacher’s last name + a major city that starts with the same letter)
SPY NAME/BOND GIRL:
(your favorite season/holiday + flower)
CARTOON NAME:
(favorite fruit + article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
HIPPY NAME:
(what you ate for breakfast + your favorite tree)
rate it or hate it,
just don't jock.
:D
comment...i wanna hear what your best names are!

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 21, 2008 9:26pm UTC

Once a boy said to me...
"Hey, you know what my idea of the perfect girl is like?
So beautiful that I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off her.
So athletic that she would beat me in a running race, anytime.
So respected that when she talked, everyone in the room would turn and listen.
So funny that listening to her would be more entertaining than That 70's Show.
So smart that every time I argued with her, she would win on comebacks.
I turned to him and rolled my eyes. "I don't think there's one person in our school like that."
"Yeah, there is. How can you not see?
It's you.
true story.
rate high if I should go out with this boy.

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 18, 2008 8:12pm UTC

I'M NOT AFRAID....
to come home from basketball games bruised and bloody.
to drink out of a juice box in place of a beer bottle.
to watch Spongebob when everyone else is talking about Gossip Girl.
to walk up to guys wearing Air Jordans instead of the latest heels.
to swim against the current.
rate high if you're a leader,
low if you're a follower.

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hellogoodbye57
posted a quote
December 18, 2008 7:42pm UTC

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob? His name is SHUT THE HELL UP."
-Bella, Breaking Dawn
RATE HIGH IF YOU HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY "I TOLD YOU SO"!!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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