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HeartbreakAlwaysWritesAgoodSong

  1. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 4:33pm UTC
    Below is a list of all those who have a crush on me:
    format by jimmy365

  2. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    July 9, 2012 10:38pm UTC
    Normal flirting: hey babe, you're so pretty and sweet. may I get your number?
    Me flirting: if you were a potato, you'd be a nice potato.

  3. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2012 10:18pm UTC
    A faithful husband was drunk at a party; he didn’t know what was happening around him. When he arrived home, he went straight to bed and slept. When morning came, he was amazed. Everything in his room was in order, and a tablet of aspirin and a glass of water were on his bedside table with a note saying, “Good morning honey, I have to buy groceries but I'll be back for dinner. Have your breakfast! Love you!” from his wife. He wondered why his wife didn't seem to be angry at him, even though he was so drunk last night. He asked his son, “What happened last night? I got drunker than I meant to, your mom should be angry!” The son replied “When mom got home, you were still drunk and you were lying on the bed in your dirty clothes. She tried to undress you, but you said,'Stop, I'm married.’"
    I found this on tumblr, but it made me smile like an idiot (:

  4. YOLO_x3 YOLO_x3
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 12:20pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  5. Rosycheeks32 Rosycheeks32
    posted a quote
    June 26, 2012 4:13pm UTC
    Monsters Inc 2 is coming out in 2O13
    move out of the way kids,
    i've been waiting 1O years for this.

  6. andreapicii andreapicii
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2012 5:22pm UTC
    I WAS HUNGRY SO I BOUGHT SOME ANIMAL CRACKERS AT TARGET.
    Cashier guy: Ok that will be 1.39
    Me: Uh can I get a bag too please?
    Cashier guy: *Gives me a weird look but hands me a small bag*
    Me: Thank you I think people might look at me funny if they see me walking around the mall with animal crackers you know
    Cashier guy: What just be like "YEAH I LIKE ANIMAL CRACKERS AND WHAT"
    Cashier guy (As I'm leaving): DON'T LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN YOU EAT THOSE ANIMAL CRACKERS GIRL!
    Tumblr

  7. JustWaiting JustWaiting
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 6:12pm UTC
    Hey, Arnold! Do you remember 90's tv shows? They're Kim Possible to forget. Let's take The Magic School Bus to Dexter's Laboratory and listen to All That stuff As Told By Ginger while sitting on The Big Comfy Couch. Then we can take a Recess and tell Dragon Tales while Arthur and Madeline put the Rugrats to sleep. Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy are Rolie Polie (Olie) while sleeping, but Courage the Cowardly Dog can watch them. Then we can take a walk in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. However, we might get Goosebumps because there are a lot of Little Bears. Luckily, we can always count on Clarissa to Explain It All, and The Power Puff Girls to save the day.
    -mine

  8. Oliviaxo Oliviaxo
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 10:07am UTC
    Here's to the girls
    that joined witty, BEFORE One Direction took over.
    ~
    nmf

  9. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 10, 2012 2:33pm UTC
    A conversation I overheard at a barGuy 1: Hey there.
    Guy 2 Hey. What's up?Guy 1: Nothing much. I just want to say you're really cute.Guy 2: Thanks dude!Guy 1: So who are you here with?Guy 2: Oh my girlfriend just went to the bathroom.Guy 1: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were straight.Guy 2: It's cool, man.Guy 1: You don't mind me calling you cute?Guy 2: Hey, a compliment's a compliment, no matter who it comes from.

  10. FutureMrsBrunoMars FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 5:04pm UTC
    Louis: Liam is the smart one. Harry is the flirt. Zayn is vain. Niall is the funny one.
    Harry: And Louis the leader...... because it was the only one left.

  11. Xoxoshannonxoxo Xoxoshannonxoxo
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 5:26pm UTC
    Louis Tomlinson
    Niall Horan
    Harry Styles
    Liam Payne
    Zayn Malik
    One Direction

  12. mayday mayday
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 5:25pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  13. DomoWorld DomoWorld
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 3:45pm UTC
    90% of people marry their 7-12th grade love.
    Ok it's official, I'm marrying 5 beautiful boys :]
    Fav if you get it..
    NMF

  14. dgalls121 dgalls121
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 3:17pm UTC
    Here's to the girls who
    Just want to tell him how she feels but is too scared

    NMF

  15. 伤* 伤*
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 2:22pm UTC
    Louis: i'm a swagger master from doncaster
    Zayn: but your mum calls you boo-bear
    Louis: what do they call you?
    Zayn: Zayn...
    Louis: isn't it "Yo, i'm a bradford bad boi "
    Zayn:...
    -OneDirection

  16. 伤* 伤*
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 2:05pm UTC
    "I don't mind getting a black eye,
    or a broken arm for my girl,
    as long as she's there to kiss it after. "
    - Harry Styles♥
    format credit to OneDirection

  17. ILoveStarWars ILoveStarWars
    posted a quote
    April 17, 2012 3:31pm UTC
    I'm the type of person,
    Who laughs at my own texts before I send them because I'm so damn funny.
    Follow me, I probably won't follow back c;

  18. Mrs_ZaynMalik69_1D Mrs_ZaynMalik69_1D
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2012 10:03pm UTC
    One Direction things#190
    How to get into One Direction's tour without a ticket.
    1. dress up as an old lady and claim you're Harry's girlfriend.
    2. dress as an exterminator and say you received a call off Liam complaining about there being too many spoons in the building.
    3. pretend to be Zayn's old English teacher and say you're concerned he cannot say 'What's happening' properly, so you must see him.
    4, buy a Nando's take out meal and claim you're delivering Niall's order of food.
    5. hire a Simon Cowell look alike and make him demand that you are let inside the arena NOW!
    6. buy a milkshake and tell security that you need to see 1D so you can test the theory of my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
    7. dress up as a doctor and tell security you're very concerned about Louis' carrot fascination so you must see him straight away
    8. tell security you have lost you parent or guardian and that you need to check inside in order to find them.
    9. arrange for Dynamo the magician to meet you outside the arena so he can work his magic and get you inside.
    and if all else fails
    10. get you friends to dress up as spoons, cats, potatoes, leprechaun, carrots, turtles and woody and a giant pigeon and tell security the supporting band has arrived.
    "Niall and The Potatoes"
    Directioners YGM ;)

    formatcredittofatassmuffin

  19. 伤* 伤*
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2012 3:11pm UTC
    "All girls are beautiful no matter what
    color, size and shape."
    - Liam Payne♥
    format credit to OneDirection

  20. Abiageal M* Abiageal M*
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2012 9:05pm UTC
    click to see this quote

:)

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