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iluhyoux
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 11:13pm UTC

Me: *Trying to sneak out*
Doorhinge: Lol no.
Me:
Doorhinge:
Me:
Doorhinge:
Me:
Doorhinge:
Me:
Doorhinge:
Me: *Opens door as slowly as possible*
Doorhinge: Allow me to play you the song of my people.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 737 points

Alliebabiiee
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 7:11pm UTC

Dad: *yelling at the tv*
Me: You're yelling at the players like they're actually going to hear you.
Dad: You're in love with a boy who will never know you exist.
Me:
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Me: Don't talk to me ever again.
nmq

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 447 points

Jahyvie
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 4:11pm UTC

*Me Casually riding around with my brother in car when I see 2 teenage boys riding bikes*
Me: *rolls down window*
Brother: Oh no.....
Me: *Right as we pass them* PEEEENNNN!!!!!SSSS
Boys on bike: *Look back at car and crash into each other*
Me: Success.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 397 points

ThatsJustLifee
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 6:02pm UTC

me: Mom, can I go out?
mom: I don't care just don't forget your keys.
me: Aren't you going to ask where I'm going or give me a curfew...?
mom: We both know you'll be at the park or getting food.
me:
mom:
me:
me:I could be hanging out with boys.
mom:
me:
mom: HAHAHAHA
mom: Omg this is so funny!!
mom: Wait until i tell my friends this!
mom: "I might be with boys!" *Robotic Voice* HAHA
mom: Oh god I almost believed you there for a sec..
mom: Phew, I needed a good laugh.
mom: Seriously though where are you going?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 737 points

andreapicii
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 5:22pm UTC

I WAS HUNGRY SO I BOUGHT SOME ANIMAL CRACKERS AT TARGET.
Cashier guy: Ok that will be 1.39
Me: Uh can I get a bag too please?
Cashier guy: *Gives me a weird look but hands me a small bag*
Me: Thank you I think people might look at me funny if they see me walking around the mall with animal crackers you know
Cashier guy: What just be like "YEAH I LIKE ANIMAL CRACKERS AND WHAT"
Cashier guy (As I'm leaving): DON'T LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN YOU EAT THOSE ANIMAL CRACKERS GIRL!
Tumblr

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3051 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 9:08am UTC

I recently forced my parents to watch all the Harry Potter. movies with me.
We had gone through all the movies and were on The Deathly Hallows Part 2, and my father looked at me and asked, "Wait, who's Voldemort?"

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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dancergrl101
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 8:33pm UTC

what people on witty think 11-year-olds do:
text on their iPhones, smoke weed, have s-x, swear, and drink.
what my 11-year-old sister and her friends actually do:
play hide and seek, draw, have water fights, play with American Girl Dolls
They still exist, you know.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 904 points

softballxwin27
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 9:18pm UTC

Thank you Warning Label...
I was about to use this lamp in the shower.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 2:33pm UTC

A conversation I overheard at a barGuy 1: Hey there.
Guy 2 Hey. What's up?Guy 1: Nothing much. I just want to say you're really cute.Guy 2: Thanks dude!Guy 1: So who are you here with?Guy 2: Oh my girlfriend just went to the bathroom.Guy 1: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were straight.Guy 2: It's cool, man.Guy 1: You don't mind me calling you cute?Guy 2: Hey, a compliment's a compliment, no matter who it comes from.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3015 points

animallovers46
posted a quote
July 9, 2012 5:47pm UTC

Today a girl at camp was bulling another girl because she called Louis Lewis, instead of Lou-ie. Then the bully anounced in a very loud voice, "I'm a true Directioner, because I've memorized all 3 songs."
I got thrown out of camp after I slapped her... My mom still doesn't understand...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 611 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
July 9, 2012 4:28am UTC

click to see this quote

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 5, 2012 10:31am UTC

What guys say: I like nice girls.
What guys say: I like smart girls.What guys say: I like funny girls.
What guys mean: I like hot girls.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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JustAnotherWittyGuy
posted a quote
July 3, 2012 12:25pm UTC

click to see this quote

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BrokenHeartedGirl1
posted a quote
June 29, 2012 12:15am UTC

click to see this quote

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pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
June 29, 2012 1:06pm UTC

Most people don't know this, but
you can go to the gym without telling Facebook about it.♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 506 points

EmmaTomlinson69

posted a quote
June 29, 2012 8:39am UTC

Fact:
People with brown or green
eyes are hyper and love to
laugh. They tend to be quiet at
first, but once you get to know
them they never shut up. And
make amazing friends.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 806 points

伤*
posted a quote
June 29, 2012 1:06pm UTC

In a interview
Selena gomez said "i only like zayn in one direction."
In another
interview harry said "i only like justin bieber in jelena."
NMF/Quote by OneDirection

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dramaqueen607
posted a quote
June 28, 2012 10:34am UTC

Today, my two sisters were having a fight over the dinner
table, one is 14, the other is 6. My 14 year old sister yelled
"WELL SANTA ISN'T REAL!!!". My 6 year old sister plucked
up some courage and yelled "WELL NEITHER IS EDWARD
CULLEN!!!". One ran from the table crying. I think we all
know who did.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 344 points

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