BandG33k's Favorites

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 8:52pm UTC

Imma take your grandpa's soul.
Imma take your grandpa's soul.
No foreal. Ask your grandad.
Can we do a ritual?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 108 points

gab*
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 5:46pm UTC

everyone: u have bags under ur eyes.......................................
me: I know, they're designer *bats eyelashes*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 90 points

J3S5E
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 7:48pm UTC

sorry, i'm really poor
i can't afford to pay attention

👍 this is good · read the comments · 96 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 9:46pm UTC

Me: *not from Boston*
Me: *not originally from Massachusetts*
Me: *in Boston* Ugh, tourists.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points

AnaCastro196
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 4:29pm UTC

The problem with boys is.
They pretend to like you but they don't.
The problem with girls is.
They pretend to not like you but they do
-♥-

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 88 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 7:08pm UTC

Oh, you don't agree with my quote? There's this cool new thing.
It's called ignoring the quote and keeping your opinion to yourself.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 100 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 8:04pm UTC

What I said: I love my boyfriend!
What I meant: I love laptop!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 124 points

J3S5E
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 7:30pm UTC

She has a lot of beauty, a lot of class.
A bright future, but a messed up past.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 154 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 15, 2013 3:08am UTC

mike wazowski opens up a tattoo shop
called "Monsters Ink."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 403 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
July 14, 2013 6:39pm UTC

Me: Maybe I have friends now.
Me: There's only one way to find out.
Me: *Checks phone*
Phone: *0 messages*
Me: My expectations are too high...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 149 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 7:47pm UTC

Me: *Reading a book*
Person: What are you reading?
Me: *holds up book while continuing to read*
Person: Oh yeah, I read that book! Did you get to the part where ________ dies?
Me: WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU DONE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 287 points

PlatinumKid98
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 12:14am UTC

Face it.
If you are not first you are
last.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 171 points

Steve
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 6:46pm UTC

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs
because they always take things literally.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 426 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 8:00pm UTC

Let's all take a moment of silence for the beloved website of Stardoll
Because literally half of the Witty population came here because of Stardoll, and then ditched it a few months later for Witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 496 points

Butterbear
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 2:06am UTC

How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a pan down the stairs and sees what
noise it makes. Ping Ting Dong

👍 this is good · read the comments · 167 points

Butterbear
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 12:42am UTC

Me: Okay, time to clean my room.
- 5 minutes into cleaning -
Me: OH MY GOD LOOK
Me: IT'S THAT THING I LOST 3 YEARS AGO
Me: THIS IS LIKE THE MOST AMAZING DISCOVERY EVER
- 1 hour later -
Mom: Have you finished cleaning your room yet?
Me: What

👍 this is good · read the comments · 108 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 6:47pm UTC

If I was a werewolf, I'd call myself a "dog person" and
cackle maniacally when people misunderstand me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 142 points