I want to focus on the positives, not just skae off the negatives
I want to remember and accept my past, not forget and delete it
I want to feel like I am making decisions for myself, not for others
I want to feel happy and at home in my own body, not wish for someone else's because of my flaws
I want to take my medication and live the way I was meant to, happy, not sad or trapped
I want to take a blow and laugh, not suffocate under the pain of a joke
I want to be more confident in myself to try new things, not stay in the same frame I've been making
I want to feel better about myself even the flaws that cant be changed, not hate myself forever
I want to grow up and take on big changes that scare me, not try to stay a kid forever and hide from my future
I want to read more and write more, not sit on a computer watching endless series and playing games
I want to cry and let all my feelings out even if they're embarrassing to talk about it, not hide behind a smile all the time.
I want my jealousy, a trait I cant get rid of, to drive me to compete and do greater things, not paralyze my vocal cords and set fire to my heart and mind
I want to have courage and social skills and talk to different people or even asking for a job, not be shy and sheltered
I want to make fantastic pieces of art, ones I can even find beautiful in simple ways, like city street artists
Sometimes, I dont want to be a tattoo artist, but a Lighting Technician, or a graphic designer
I want to sleep next to someone to keep my mind grounded and to know I am not alone.
I want to wake up on my own at the right time for once, not force myself to get up
I dont want to be scared or careful of making one wrong move and blowing it all away
I dont want to be mad or frustrated with myself when at first i dont succeed, I want to keep trying and i never want to give up
Last Serenade*