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Hillarious Quotes

  1. awesomeness...* awesomeness...*
    posted a quote
    January 13, 2014 10:57pm UTC
    Most of the time... when your'e crying, nobody notices your tears.
    Most of the time... when your'e worried, nobody feels your pain.
    Most of the time... when your'e happy, nobody sees your smile.
    But when you fart just one time...

  2. AVFC1874 AVFC1874
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2013 2:09pm UTC
    girl: I hate whoever invented maths...
    Teacher: He hates you too
    took me a while to get this but when i did it cracked me upxD

  3. LettingSecretsGo LettingSecretsGo
    posted a quote
    August 21, 2013 6:05pm UTC
    Where does the poor meatball live?
    In the spaghetto.

  4. Ugfhhbyjnvcffg* Ugfhhbyjnvcffg*
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 3:21pm UTC
    "She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack."

  5. awesomeness...* awesomeness...*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 9:44pm UTC
    kid: mommy, i can't go to sleep!
    mom: lie down while i sing you this song passed on for generations.....
    mom: I'm se.xy and I know it! wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah!
    THE YEAR IS 3001.....

  6. awesomeness...* awesomeness...*
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2013 9:38pm UTC
    mom: can you get butter,sugar,milk,and flour?
    me: sure
    me: butter,sugar,milk,flour. butter,sugar,milk,flour,butter...........
    me: *arrives at the store*
    me: *gets things*
    me: *goes to the cashier*
    me: how much for the soda,cookies,chips, and the honeybun??

  7. kayleebug kayleebug
    posted a quote
    January 29, 2013 11:40am UTC
    There Once was a man named Cass
    Whose balls were made of Brass
    In stormy weather
    They clanged together
    and lightning shot out is a*s

:)

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