Funtimesinbio Quotes

jessicabliss
posted a quote
October 8, 2013 9:15pm UTC

So in Bio today we had a very interesting conversation about why we cook our food...
Teacher: It turns out that we cook our food because it is easier to chew and not so much because it reduces risk of disease.
Class:
Teacher: Like, did you guys hear about a man in California who was high on bath salts a few years ago?
Class:
Teacher: Well bath salts really mess with your brain and I guess this guy thought he was a wolf or something so when the police found him he was trying to eat the face off of this homeless man who was passed out.
Class: Ew.
Teacher: It turns out that he didn't end up eating very much.
Class:
Teacher: Think about it! If he had cooked that homeless man, he would have been able to eat so much more before the police showed up!
Class: Ewww!
Teacher: So I guess that the point of this tangent is that you should always cook a homeless man before you eat him.
Some girl in my class: Shouldn't the point not to do bath salts?
Teacher: But then it doesn't relate back to what we were talking about before!
This actually happened. No joke.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

jessicabliss
posted a quote
October 1, 2013 8:29pm UTC

What I learned in my Bio class today...
-If you were to eat a person, you should eat the butt first
-It is very hard to punch your tongue
-No one has ever said "that cow has a fine booty"
-Rabbits have icky eating habits
-It is a bad idea to eat your own waste
-No one drinks Gatorade in Canada
-Cows have icky eating habits as well
-Milk has magical powers

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

jessicabliss
posted a quote
September 27, 2013 7:57pm UTC

So a few days ago in my Bio class...
Teacher: You all notice things about each other. For example, when you walk down the hall you might see someone and think to yourself "wow, he's really tall." Does any one know why?
Class:
Teacher: No?
Class:
Teacher: It's because you're viewing these people as either a future boyfriend/ girlfriend or competition.
Class:
Teacher: This being said, none of you would be able to tell me if a specific giraffe was exceptionally tall. Why? Because none of you are attracted to giraffes.
Class: *Starts giggling*
Teacher: I can guarantee that none of you have ever walked into a zoo and thought to yourself "Dang, that is one fine looking zebra."
Class: *Dies*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 61 points

jessicabliss
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 5:32pm UTC

Today in my biology class...
My teacher: Anthony, catch! *Throws marker at my lab partner*
Lab partner: *Catches the marker with ease*
My teacher: Jessica, this one's coming to you. *Throws marker at me*
Me: *Screams and ducks*
Teacher:
Lab partner:
The rest of the class:
Me:
Teacher: Thank you Jessica for demonstrating how NOT to catch a marker...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Witty Profiles

Funtimesinbio Quotes