Psychiatric Hotline

We've all had the annoying experience of calling up a hotline and waitiing on the phonefor eons to hear all the choices the lucky touch-tone dialers receive. Well, thnk how frustrating that would be if you were calling the.... PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE
The telephone rings and an answering machine answers..."Welcome to the psychiatric hotline." If you are obsessive conpulsive, please press one repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.
If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer any way.