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Rant about my life
 
Tomorrow would have been two years with my ex.. we broke up 7 months ago yet it still hurts. I see him in the halls every day and he seems fine and happy, yet here I am still crying and hurting every single day. Sometimes I wish that I could just get over him and stop all this pain, but then I realize that he was the reason that I was happy for almost 2 years. He was the reason that I could get up in the morning and not feel worthless. He is still the reason that I get up every morning and go to school. I go to school to see his smile and hear his laugh. We are still friends, but it isn't quite the same. I don't know if it ever will be. I see him in the halls with his other friends and he seems so happy and then there is me. The one who walks down the halls with both headphones in, loud music playing, and a fake smile on my face when someone smiles at me. I don't know how to change that. People keep saying, "stop being depressed?" and "just let yourself be happy". Do you all think that I like being depressed?Do you think that I like faking a smile everyday? Well the answer is no. I hate it. If I could change it, then I can guarantee that I would have. If I could stop being depressed then I would have done that a long time ago. I try to "just let myself be happy" and it doesn't work. I don't know how to make it work. I don't know how to be truly happy anymore.
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Rant about my life Tomorrow would have been two years with my

4 faves · 5 comments · Sep 16, 2015 5:58pm

grlsmmy*

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grlsmmy*


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life · rant · quote

semisonicheart94 · 8 years ago
it would be really hard to have to still see them everyday afterwards,it was hard for me to say goodbye because we lived together we had a life together and i wasnt ready for that to be over but its a good change ya know
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grlsmmy* · 8 years ago
Yeah, I completely get what you mean. I see him every single day and now he is my best friend. and there is a chance that he and I are going to get back together after a while. We just want to make sure that we are both happy before we get into a relationship
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semisonicheart94 · 8 years ago
dude its good to get to that point when your happy again i can say when i was with him there was alot of time when i wasnt happy and being alone has let me find myself again and be real and honest with how i really feel and ,so im glad you are becoming more happy
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semisonicheart94 · 8 years ago
know the feeling we were together for 3 1/2 years
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grlsmmy* · 8 years ago
I got to see him out of school for the first time in so long last night and I can guarantee that it was the best time that i have had in a long time. My friend said that when he looked at me, he could tell that I was actually happy.
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