.....
Even though
we've been waiting for tomorrow to come for so many
years, ever since we were little.. Because tomorrow is
finally your 18th birthday. What did being 18 mean to
us awhile ago? What got both of our attention the most was
being able to do whatever without having our
parents permission and for them not saying we can't.
Well, tomorrow is finally your 18th birthday.. We've always
talked about how excited we would be and how we
can't wait for it come.. Well, it's here tomorrow
and knowing you aren't here for it tears me apart.
I'm dreading tomorrow like crazy..
I sat at your headstone on friday night and just cried and
cried.. I don't even know why I go there because I know you
aren't there, but i just always get these feelings
inside me that I need to get there on some days and I feel like
it's you trying to get my attention somehow. I've gone
there even when your headstone was covered in 5 feet of
snow and I was there for a few hours just to shovel a path way
and to shovel your headstone off. I'll be out there tomorrow
with a bunch of your favorite flowers, even though with the
cold they'll probably die.. But that's the most I can
possibly give to you anymore.. You deserve them. They're
absolutely beautiful.. Just like you were.
I miss you so much baby, I just wish with everything in me that
you would just be able to come home once more.. I'm so sorry
I couldn't save you that morning. It eats me alive on
the inside everyday.
Tomorrow isn't going to be easy and I'm going to need all
the strength in the world to help get through.
You're forever and always my best friend, my ride or
die, my main girl.
Rest In Heaven my Angel.
.....
