i try and tell myself,
"you're not alone,"

yet when i get in bed at night
my sadness envelopes me
            rather than my blankets
and my head is propped up
by a monster of thoughts
            rather than my pillow
and by the weight in my chest,
it feels as if the mattress is laying on top of me
            rather tahn the latter


and all i know through
this confusion
is when i sit up
and take a look around
the only person there
          is me
and the only person who cares
          is me
and the only person who understands
          is me
and
gosh,
am
i
alone.