Diary of a Wimpy
Kid
SEPTEMBER
Tuesday
First of all, let me
get something straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know
what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this
thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say
"diary" on it. Great. All I need is for some jerk to
catch me carrying this book around and get the wrong idea. The
other thing I want to clear up right away is that this was
mom's idea, not mine. But is she thinks I'm gonna to
write down my "fellings" in here or whatever, she's
crazy. So just don't expect me to be all "dear
diary" this "dear diary" that.The only reason I
agreed to do this at all is because I figure later on when
I'm rich and famous, I'll have better things to do than
answer people's stuiped questions all day long.So this book
might come in handy. Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but
for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons.
Let me just say for the record that I think middle school is the
dumbest idea ever invented. You got kids like me who haven't
hit their groth spurt yet mixed in with these gorillas who need
to shave twice a day. And the they wonder why bullying is such a
big problem in middle school. If it was up to me, grade
levels would be based on height , not age. But then again,
I guess that would mean kids like Chirag Gupta would still be in
the first grade.Today is the first day of school, and right now
we're just waiting around for the teacher to hurry up and
finish the seating chart. So I figured I might as well write in
this book to pass the time. By the way, let me give you some good
advise. On the first day of school, you got to be real careful
where you sit.You walk into the classroom and just plunk your
stuff down on any old desk and the next thing you know your
teacher says:I hope you like where you are sitting because these
are your permanent seats. So in class, I got stuck with Chris
Hosey and in frount of me and Lionel James in back of me.
Jaosn Brill came in late and almost sat to my right, but
luckily I stopped that from happening at last the second. Next
period, I should just sit in the middle of a buch of hot
girls as soon as I step in the room. But i guess if I do that, it
just proves I didn't learn anything last year.
