Secrets

Chapter 1
Pt. 1
Sometimes, I wish my life was just a bad dream.
That I could wake up back to reality, and everything would be okay.
I'd have friends, a family, and I'd be happy in my own little world.
But this little world of mine didn't exist.
My reality was filled with hatred, violence, and desperation to escape.
Maybe that's why I was so messed up.
I had nobody to put me onto the right path. Tell me that my actions were wrong. Comfort me when I needed them too.
Without my little sister to care for, I would have taken that jump off the bridge.
I wish that I could go back to the good days when my life wasn't always like this.
When there were happy times. Showered with love and affection from my parents; given everything I could ever ask for.
I was so stupid, so naive; I never thought that one day I wouldn't have a family anymore. That my family was all I ever needed, all I really wanted.
I don't blame god for what happened. I don't blame my father either. I blame myself.
I can't help but think I could have done something. Maybe if that car hadn't come out of nowhere, my life wouldn't be so screwed up. My family wouldn't be broken, my father would stop drinking, and my mother would be brought back from heaven.
I know it's never going to happen, but a girl can dream right? I just wish that one day, I'll have the answers to my problems. One day, my purpose to be living will be answered. That one day I'll feel that same warmth that I had felt so many times before.
That one day, that hole in my heart can be filled again with that same love and affection that I had felt so many years before.
That one day, I could be happy.
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Jaime's P.O.V
"JAIME, GET DOWN HERE!"
I cringed at the ice laced in his voice as he screamed causing me to clutch my sister tighter.  She was on the verge of tears, shaking so bad that not even the comfort of my arms could subside her.  All I could do was cover her ears and hope that everything could be alright.  My father banged on the door swearing loudly. The pictures hung up on the wall shook so hard, I was sure they would fall.
I knew without seeing my father that he was drunk, swaying back in forth with a bottle of beer in his hands, trying to beat up his only children.
He was always like this. Every day he would go to work and return drunk blaming us for the death of our mother.  "GET OUT HERE YOU WORTHLESS B*TCH"
I quickly stood up pushing the dresser in front of the door, and ushered Ally to the closet.  We sat in our makeshift panic room quietly grabbing onto each other for comfort until the bangs on the door had disappeared and the house was quiet again.
I could imagine my father passed out somewhere in the house. Broken glass everywhere and furniture ruined was sure to be discovered in the morning.
By then, Ally was asleep clutching to her old elephant stuff animal; something our mother had given her when she was born. 
She was so strong that it hurt me to see her like this. When our mother died, it seemed like she had matured 10 years, not even needing my help for anything. 
But at times like this, she turned back into an innocent little girl again, pleading to have her mother with her. 
It broke my heart every time I saw a tear roll down her face, full of the pain that my father had inflicted on us.  We were all hurting inside, wishing for the better life when my mother was with us.  "I'll get us out of this Ally, I promise". I kissed her forehead before joining her in a deep sleep. 
I woke to a pain in my back and a headache so bad I wanted to pass out. I groaned, sitting up and stretching feeling my body ache from sleeping on the floor.  I gazed lovingly at my sister curled up against the wall. Her blond curls and bright blue eyes she got from our mother made her look so beautiful.
I  gently scooped her into my arms and carried her to my bed, tucking her under the covers.  Trying not to wake her, I moved the dresser to the side and opened the door. The house was a familiar quiet. My father was at work and would return  in a few hours wasted.
I yawned at my lack of sleep and thanked god that it was Sunday.  I quickly changed into my work clothes pulling the sleeves down to cover the recent bruises I had recieved, and called Ms. Fitz to let her know I was leaving.  Ms. Fitz has been my neighbor since I was a child and if it wasn’t for her generous hospitality towards Ally, I don't know what I would do.  She didn't know the details of our relationship with my father, but she was an old friend of my mom
so I think she felt a sense of responsibility for us.
Leaving a note for Ally, I quickly ushered out the door and started the long walk to the diner.

A/N: Part 2 is already up due to this chapter being too long.  Make sure to leave feedback(;