Rubbed Raw, And Reeling. I admit it, i did something incredibly stupid. Something full of deceit. I knew i shouldnt have.. but i did. I wanted that rush. That type of rush every teenager experiences when she does something rebellious. The knowing you went against all odds, and proved others, even yourself, wrong. I craved for the touch that i was curious for. Truthfully, i thought this moment was just the product of adolescent chemistryenthriced by the same admiration. The numbness, the nerves, the vulnerability of that touch. Electrifies like circuits around your body. The guilt sets in knowing your innocence has been revoked. That first time, that only occurs once in your life, completely changes you. You feel oddly different, temporarily good, but very much, blemished emotionally. The uncertainty rushes in through short sparks of self proudness. It the weirdest bittersweet self discovery that consumes you with the bitter than that delightful sweet. My advice, wait. Wait until you find someone who'd make that bittersweet moment, utterly beautiful. That takes away that horrid bitter, that you never want to face again. Someone who knows your flaws and will accept your gorgeous vulnerability. Thats how it should be.