I just feel so deeply for him it's hard for my heart to hold just one feeling when we... kiss, so every feeling I experience all just forces their way out in this tingly, euphorious pressure behind my chest. How can something so heavy make you feel as light as air anyway?

At the time, it was off-putting to always see someone with a bright twinkle in their eye and laugh in their chest after something tragic and serious happens. I remember on one horrible occaision, he lost one of his closest friends and was able to smile as he told me, "He was the funniest, most idiotic guy I knew, in like, a good way. You know? I'm glad he was my brother. I'll remember him that way." You kind of expect a person to be sullen after losing someone, just like that, but he never is. It was this positivity that rubbed off on me and it just seemed to stain my heart, just like his favorite flavor of Powerade on a favorite white shirt. Maybe it’s the sugar high he's constantly on after a day of drinking nothing but the stuff.

He always in this constant state of contentment and he constantly tries to invite me to revel in his endless supply of it. Then something happened. I took him up on his offer one day because something about him pushed me to explore the strong build of his jawline with my palm. It fit perfectly. He gently covered my hand with his and like a rushing river, he poured into me, flooding my heart. When he peeled back, all that was left was the soft memory of his lips pressing against mine, that proud smirk of his under those intensely sharp eyes, and a more purple-faced, clumsy version of myself.

Because of this man who kisses me wildly mid-sentence; who cracks jokes when I'm complaining; who justifies everything with a smirk, I am a better person and would be lost in a cold smog of my own, miserable making.

I'm glad I met him and I hope he's here to stay— to kiss me from time to time, to share life's lessons with, to play a for a good bit, and to laugh a little while.

Love used to be this insanely huge, painful thing to conquer but now I see that love is simply a smile.