To him I'm a quick fix, he can come to when he has nothing better. He can flirt with no strings attached. He thinks he can use me like a tissue and I don't care. Try to touch me and me do nothing. To me he's a player and a jerk. To me he's a drug that stops my pain for a little while. He may say things that offend me but hes a charming snake and i cant help myself. He doesn't like me the way I used to want him to. He admitted it yet he still acts like he does. I don't like some things about him yet I feel comfortable around him and I don't have to be someone else. He makes me hold on for hope but crushes them. He leads me on like I don't notice. To him I guess im not good enough not a size 0. To him I'm too modest too religious he isn't going to get what he wants. I don't like that to me he's a best friend and that we flirt but I know we won't date each other. I can't help I like him a little partly cause I'm lonely and he's the only one that shows me attention. I can't help I've had no experience with dating. All I know is he stops the bleeding of my love for a little while. Isn't a little bit of fake love better than none at all. They tell me I deserve better. Where can I find someone. I've looked. I've prayed. I'm still alone in a world full of guys. What alienates me from other girls? I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand.