*in a haunted house with my friends*
Savannah: *holds my hand*
creepy guy: *jumps at us*
Savannah: SOFT KITTY WARM KITTY LITTLE BALL OF FUR KITTY...

creepy chick: let us do your makeup for the movie...
me: naw, I like mine the way it is.
Plyler: who's your dentist?

me: *gets separated from Savannah whose hand I was holding*
Matt: *is unmoved by the scary sh.t going on*
me: MATT HOLD MY HAND MOTHER F.CKER!
Matt:
me:
Matt: ...

fake person: *thrashing on the ground*
Savannah: CALM THE F.CK DOWN! JUST CALM DOWN! YOU ARE JUST PLASTIC!

priest zombie: *praying over zombie corpse thing*
me: I BELIEVE LORD! PRAISE JESUS!
Savannah and Fisher: AMAZING GRACE HOW SWEET THE SOUND...

chainsaw man: *runs out at us*
my group: *runs away screaming*
me: hey I have one of those...will you take a picture with me?
him: ...
him: sure why not. just make it quick.