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I already want to end my own life, and then I start to feel better, I start to think about everything and especially everyone around me. And how much of a dick I've been. Then I feel so bad as most them can't even talk to me. I just wish.. they would understand and I sometimes get so mad I control myself over it, my friends and my crush. Its just insane, when I feel bad. I get worse, so either way I don't know what to do.. I need advice.

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