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*in honour of suicide awareness day*
Wanna kill yourself?

Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried… Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t better if you give up. I’m here for anyone that needs to talk, okay?



 
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*in honour of suicide awareness day* Wanna kill yourself? Imagine

117 faves · 10 comments · Sep 10, 2012 3:32pm

Ineedmakyinme

by

Ineedmakyinme


tags

inspirational

besame13 · 7 years ago
Cryng so hard right now.
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Forever_And_Always_xx · 7 years ago
I just started bawling my eyes out over my iPad.. It so true.. I started crying when it got to the best friend part. Cuz it's true, my best friends are the only people who know I've thought about killing myself, and one of them told me she would kill herself if I did. Omigod... Thankyou... You've completely turned me off the idea of suicide, and I was so close. I don't know, but this is trully inspiring. x
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Alexxbbbb · 7 years ago
Ugh, I cried so hard at this.
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caitlinr424 · 7 years ago
im reading this...and i actually start sobbing sitting here at my desk. im thinking of all my friends and everyone that i would have affected. the tears started streaming down my face when i acme to the bestf riend part. i know exactly how my best friend would react, and this is exactly it...please everyone, im here if you need me♥
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xxcorinne95xx · 7 years ago
I thought of my friend emma because she was harassed by her ex and some girls I miss her yesterday It was 4 months since she left while reading this I thought of her and only her I remember how much I cry since she died I feel like I could of helped her but we stopped talking I miss her
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ErinRAWR · 7 years ago
i love that
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keepsake · 7 years ago
<3
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lovelifee · 7 years ago
This actually cheered me up, now if I do think about suicide... I'll remember this. Thank you so much. :)
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Annamaria25 · 7 years ago
that was the sadest thing i ever read...if anyone i mean anyone thinks about killing themselves..talk to me. i will help you...
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Rach_K · 7 years ago
This made me tear up. My best friend is a cutter and I can only imagin how I'd feel if she commited suicide.... I'd hate to think others would have to actually go through that, the cutter, the family, the friends, anyone. Thank you for putting this up.
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