Witty Profiles

keepsake

1. keepsake
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2013 8:14pm UTC
   Me: *replaces blood with salsa in order to speak fluent spanish*
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
2. keepsake
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2013 8:11pm UTC
   Popular Girl @xoxo_girl_xoxo 5m
   I got soo many cards and gifts and candy this year for Valentine's! thanks everyoneeee<33
   Expand
   Me @keepsake 2m
   on snapchat I got a really nice Valentine's Day snap from teamsnapchat
   Expand
   keepsake's format
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
3. keepsake
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2013 8:03pm UTC
   Me: *wonders if it's too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire's doorstep*
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
4. keepsake
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2013 7:53pm UTC
   I don't see why everyone is hatin' on Taylor Swift.
   Frankly, if I had the chance to date all the guys she has, I freaking would too.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 20 points
5. keepsake
   posted a quote
   January 21, 2013 2:08pm UTC
   i could drown in sorrow and never shed a tear
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
6. keepsake
   posted a quote
   January 21, 2013 2:01pm UTC
   Keepsake @keepsake 5m
   wahhh it's Monday:''(
   Expand
   Martin Luther King Jr. ✓ @M_King_J 2m
   I got you bro
   Expand
   keepsake's format
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
7. keepsake
   posted a quote
   December 23, 2012 9:16pm UTC
   Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
   i believe in Santa
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
8. keepsake
   posted a quote
   December 23, 2012 9:12pm UTC
   Merry Christmas ya
   filthy animal.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
9. keepsake
   posted a quote
   December 22, 2012 8:27pm UTC
   Plot Twist:
   the world did end but we're all in comas
   imagining the rest of our lives.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
10. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 22, 2012 8:20pm UTC
    *at Wal-Mart*
    Mom: That boy was checking you out
    Me: He's the cashier
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 56 points
11. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 10, 2012 9:18pm UTC
    |||||||||||||I regret
    having to regret everything.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
12. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 11:37pm UTC
    "I'm used to it."
    a phrase repeated a thousand times.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
13. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 11:32pm UTC
    Jealousy is kind of
    a constant feeling for me.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
14. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 11:30pm UTC
    If love wasn't real
    I wouldn't feel so bad right now
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
15. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 5, 2012 7:59pm UTC
    I'm only good for homework.
    People call me their "geometry friend". Because we're only friends in class.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
16. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 5, 2012 7:52pm UTC
    Mom: Do you want spaghetti or ziti for dinner?
    Me: Oh my, I don't know. There's so many pastabilities
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
17. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 5, 2012 7:46pm UTC
    I knew Santa wasn't real
    when the bad kids in my class got presents, NOT coal
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
18. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2012 8:36pm UTC
    Me: Anything I post offends at least one of my friends.
    Friend: So untrue! Not ALL of us get offended by what you post. Jeeez.
    Me:... I rest my case.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
19. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2012 8:30pm UTC
    Friend: How big is the Specific Ocean?
    Me: I don't know, can you be more pacific?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
20. keepsake
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2012 8:28pm UTC
    Mom: Molly, why must you always cause problems?
    Me: I don 't cause problems. I am a problem.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

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