pinky promise;
Every day, upon sitting down in our 3rd period
class, my friend Heather and I turn to each other and lock our
pinky fingers together. Originally we made sure to recite a
verbal swear along with the gesture, but now we typically tend
to do it in silence - although its meaning remains just as
powerful. It represents my promise to never go back to pining
after a prior crush of mine, one who never cared for me and
never quite will. It serves as a reminder that we shouldn't
waste our time on those who don't wish to spend their time
with us. It cements what I've repeatedly said over the
summer - even specifically stated over one late-night text
messaging session. "I'm never ever going back to
liking [him]. Promise. *holds up pinky*" reads a message
timestamped at 4:06 AM. She responded agreeing that, from now
on, we'll only go for guys who actually treat us with
respect and care. Guys that treat us like we matter to them.
It's our new school year resolution. Because, hey,
she's gone through her fair share of cruddy boys, too. We
all have. I see our friend Katelyn on the way to 7th hour, and
we make the same pinky promise in the hall as I spot my
ex-crush standing outside of my classroom. It's a reminder
to stay strong, a reminder that she's always going to be
there for me through everything, just as she's always been.
It reminds me that times are always changing, and, yet,
he'll never change his mind about me. But, then again,
times are always changing, and I'm not a naive freshman
girl anymore, nor am I even a sophomore. I've changed. I
used to like him; now I don't. I've decided for myself
that I truly deserve better, and I love myself enough not to
put myself through that kind of distress ever again. I swear on
some of my closest friends, so if I were to ever even vaguely
consider falling through, I'd remember not to break my
promises. And I remember why I made that promise in the first
place. I remember all that I've gone through with this boy,
all the times he made me feel virtually worthless. In turn, my
friends remember my story, and, together, we come out even
stronger than before. We promise, we will.
♥
